Sunday, November 07, 2010

Chats du jour: Poor deprived toy-less cats

Yes, she climbed up there by herself. SH is Shirley's mountain.

You haven't heard from Laverne and Shirley for a while. That's because they haven't done anything interesting. All they do is sleep, eat, knock my glasses off the table, chew on the orchid, and demand (and get) attention, which is not a bad life.

But last night, as SH and I were watching the episode in Friday Night Lights when Landry and Tyra are all stressed because they killed the bad guy, we heard a noise. The same noise we had heard the night before, when Landry did kill the bad guy.

As Landry was picking up the steel pipe, Shirley was on the end table (the cute little TV table that I got at Goodwill for $5 and painted red to go with the red plaid carpet in the basement - yes, I am ready for the apocalypse - I know how to live without much money although I really don't want to go back to those days. I do like beans and rice but I don't want to eat them every day) nosing around in the little basket where I have a bunch of fake fossils that we got in Morocco. We got them as presents for our friends' kids before realizing that parents probably don't want people giving their kids rocks and other ammunition. Now they are basement decor.

Also in the little basket are a few marbles. Shirley pushed the fossils out of the way with her nose and her paw, then picked up a marble with her teeth.

She trotted to the stairs, climbed up three stairs, and dropped the marble.

She watched it roll down the stairs, then picked it up and carried it back up the stairs. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I had no idea Shirley understood the basic principles of gravity.

SH worried that she would swallow the marble, so he took it from her and hid it in the bottom of the little basket. We thought we were done.

I have always thought that Shirley was the Dumb Cat, but last night, as Landry was telling Tyra he loved her and he would kill the bad guy for her all over again and don't act all surprised, Tyra, you know I love you even though I am the school math genius/nerd who ends up going to Rice, which is where SH and I agree is the perfect place for him, except for the manslaughter part, although the president of Rice talked all about the Diversity they have at school now at the reunion cocktail party where they did not give us FORKS to eat with, which is one way to keep costs down - how much smoked salmon can you eat with a toothpick? - Shirley jumped up on to the red Goodwill table again. She paused when she couldn't see the marble right away, but moved the fossils with her paw, determined to find the prize. Apparently, she also understands the principle of just because I can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there, especially if I saw someone put it there.

She found it. Even though it was buried under two layers of fake Moroccan fossils.

She grabbed it with her teeth, jumped down from the table, and bounded over to the stairs, which she then used as a backboard for batting the marble and waiting for it to bounce back. She gets physics, too. The angle of reflection is equal to the angle of incidence, blah blah blah.

SH was all, "She's going to swallow it and choke and suffocate!" and I was all, "It's a little big for that, don't you think and besides, we can do the kitty Heimlich," but he was having nothing of it. He took away her lawn darts/knockers/toy guy/marble because it was TOO DANGEROUS for a cat, which is an animal that can kill its own food, which is more than SH and I can, leaving her to sit bored and forlorn, the only cat on the block who is not allowed to play with marbles.


LPC said...

That is a smart cat.

MrScribbler said...

I've never seen a cat swallow anything it didn't want to swallow. Well, except pills, but even then it took a lot of outside interference....

If Shirley turns into a neurotic juvenile delinquent or tiny ax murderer, it'll be SH's fault. If I were him, I wouldn't let her anywhere near my face while I was sleeping!

munira said...

awww..Shirley is too cute for words!! and so clever! but i'd be a bit worried about her swallowing the marble too. my cat likes batting a ping-pong ball around. maybe you could put one of those in your fossil basket and see what happens...?

loved this post :)

Class factotum said...

LPC, yes, I am surprised at this, but Shirley is not dumb.

Mr S, we do have to be careful about the long-term psychological impact of marble deprivation.

Munira, I like the idea of ping pong balls! They're too big to go under the couch, too, which means they wouldn't be lost all the time.

Fijufic said...

Hilarious cat...

Ptolemy said...

Or a larger marble...