Friday, November 19, 2010

Marriage 301, Lecture 564: Fashion

Hand me down my walking cane. Hand me down my hat.

Me: I read in that book by the people who do "What Not To Wear" about tapered jeans. They agree with me.

SH: I like tapered jeans!

Me: They have four main rules and the one about tapered pants is number 2. They say "we have yet to find one person whose body has been flattered by wearing a tapered jean." [They talk funny like that - dropping the "s" in jeans. Yes, I know that the final "s" implies a plural, but there are other words in the English language where the singular form ends in "s," such as scissors, glasses and pants. We also have words where the singular and the plural are the same word, such as sheep. English is weird that way.]

SH: I'm not wearing them, am I?

Me: So why can't I throw them away or give them to Goodwill? [Although why should we inflict tapered jeans on The Poor, I ask you?]

SH: Nooooooooo!

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