Monday, November 01, 2010

Marriage 301, Lecture 649: SH and the Great Pumpkin

Halloween at our house:

Saturday night.
Our neighborhood has trick or treating on Saturday night. Which is not Halloween. We did not participate as 1. we went out to supper, 2. we stupidly assumed trick or treating would be ON HALLOWEEN and 3. we had not bought candy anyhow as we did not plan to give out candy ON HALLOWEEN because our neighborhood is so odd. You have to pay to trick or treat and donate candy and then you get a special sticker and it's just a mess. We didn't know this last year so got almost no trick or treaters and good grief I am not going through all that hassle to give candy away.

Sunday afternoon
Our neighborhood might have trick or treating on Saturday night, but our city has it on Sunday afternoon.* Which meant that as we were preparing supper - ropa vieja, salad, grilled bacon-wrapped shrimp, rosemary olive oil cake - for my dad's cousin and his wife, kids started ringing our doorbell.

SH looked out the window. "They're cute!" he said. "I feel bad for not giving out candy."

We had candy left over from last year when almost nobody came to our house, despite our having Good Candy: Reese's peanut butter cups, M&Ms, Kit Kats. SH got it out of the basement, where I had hidden it from myself, under the beans and noodles and next to the potatoes and squash, and poured it into a bowl. I gave it out, summoned to the door now not by a traditional door chime but by "Jingle Bells," as one kid had managed to press the bell the wrong way and change the melody.**

It didn't take long to run out (our neighborhood gets imported trick or treaters from the inner city), even after one kid refused to take the peanut M&Ms, telling me he had a peanut allergy.

I turned off the porch light. We were done.

It was only 2:30. Trick or treating runs until 4.

SH couldn't stand it. He started digging through the chocolate drawer, looking for more candy to give away. He threatened to give away my little Nutellas. That was not going to happen.

"I feel bad!" he moaned.

I shrugged. "Run up to Walgreen's and get some more," I told him.

He did. Returned with three bags of candy, two Kit Kats and some off-brand of chocolate that did not bode well. Ripped all three open, dumped them into the bowl, and waited.

And we did not get one more trick or treater.

Which means the candy will be sent to the traditional Halloween candy hiding place in the basement to wait for next year.

* Is Milwaukee the only place where there are designated trick or treating times? I know I live in a total nanny state where almost anything a human being would want to do is illegal - except ride a motorcycle without a helmet or drink and drive repeatedly but hey what could go wrong with those things? - but have we reached a point as a society where we cannot figure out on our own, without government interference, when to trick or treat?

** Our other musical options are
· Dong
· Ding Dong
· Westminster Chime
· Star Spangled Banner
· Hail! Hail! The Gang’s All Here
· Jingle Bells
· Auld Lang Syne
· Dixie
· The Yellow Rose of Texas
· Happy Birthday
· Beethoven’s 5th
· Joy to the World
· Take Me Out to the Ballgame

1 comment:

Fijufic said...

We have designated trick or treat times. Starts at dusk (5:30 ish) and ends at 8pm...

We were swamped!!!