Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Marriage 301, Lecture 301: Hooked on Texas

SH: Why don't you want to watch an episode of Friday Night Lights with me? [Note that this is the show that a mere month or two ago, SH had no interest in watching because he did not want to watch 1. a stupid TV show 2. about Texas and 3. football. Oh how the mighty have fallen.]

Me: Because I am sleepy. I've been sleepy all day. I want to go to bed.

SH: It's only 42 minutes long!

Me: No it's not. You pause the show to get more wine. [Because he can pour only one inch of wine into his glass at a time. No more than that! Noooo! Wine people probably understand the one-inch limitation, but practical people who are watching TV in the basement while the open wine bottle is upstairs in the kitchen do not.]

SH: So?

Me: And then you pause it to ask, "What did he say? What did he say?" And then you don't believe me when I tell you, so you rewind.

SH: So?

Me: And then you pause it to ask me why Smash is trying to get a walk-on tryout, even though it has been only two days since you saw the episode where that was explained!

SH: So?

Me: By the time you are done pausing, it's over an hour. Then you have to organize and grade your hangers by wire gauge and do all kinds of piddly tasks because you can't stand to leave any disorder when you go out of town and then you pack and then it's midnight before we turn out the lights. That's why I don't want to watch.


Joy said...

Why doesn't he just bring the wine bottle to the basement with him, so he can refill more handily?

Class factotum said...

Joy, I have asked him that exact same question.

Ruth said...

I am enjoying the class lectures. Marriage 301, lecture 301 is especially educational.

I would like to be able to state that I have become a better wife due to your lectures. I consider myself a very good mother, a strong teacher and a barely average wife.

Perhaps I will improve.

Class factotum said...

Ruth (is this Ruth K?), perhaps I need to start a career as a marriage counselor.

Class factotum said...

PS I also think people look to me for cat care guidance.

SH said...

The basement is too cold (in winter) to take the bottle of wine down there. Wine doesn't taste as good when it is consumed at cellar temperature!

Ruth said...

You know more people named Ruth?

Nu? Ruth K it is.

Happy New Year.

Michelle Zive said...

That's funny! Boy, howdy, if we let every little idiosyncrasy of our husbands get to us, it would drive us crazy. Right? On the other hand, he finds the fact that I have to "sweep" our bed of every crumb before I can get into it, I have to read the entire magazine from start to finish before anyone else can even look at the magazine, etc., etc., endearing. I will try to do the same for his quirks. Ha!

Class factotum said...

Michelle, I am so lucky that SH puts up with me. I have way more quirks than he does - but I have a blog and he doesn't.

Ruthie, Pete L's mother in law is named Ruth, but I doubt she reads this blog and I call her "Mrs Wagner" anyhow. So I guess you are my only Ruth. You crack me up! BTW, I would not look to me for marriage advice - you've been married a lot longer than I have.