Wednesday, January 05, 2011

Marriage 301, Lecture 395: How can I miss you if you won't go away?

What I did while SH was gone:

Threw away the rest of the salad dressing, olives, and seafood cocktail sauce that we had moved from his apartment to the house in June of 2008, which, in case you are bad at math, was more than two and a half years ago.

I know those foodstuffs were from then because I had written "6/08" on each jar with a magic marker.

I also know those foodstuffs were older than 6/08 because SH had most of them in his refrigerator when I met him.

In 2005.

What SH did a few months ago:

Threw away the perfectly good ketchup I had brought from Memphis not because it was old but because it had high-fructose corn sweetener in it.

What he did last night after he returned from his visit to an undisclosed location where we discovered that rinsing and re-using ziplock bags makes one overly frugal and a damn cheapskate:

Went through all the leftovers in the fridge and pointed out that many of them were from last week. LAST WEEK! Oh no! Was I trying to KILL HIM by feeding him bok choy with ginger and sesame oil cooked last Tuesday?

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