Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Marriage 301, Lecture 567: Run away!
SH is thinking about running the Summerfest half marathon this summer.
I told him that if he did, I would run with him. Yeah, stupid, I know, because I 1. hate running and 2. hate losing.*
I suggested that he might want to start training now, as the last time he went running was in 2006 when he was visiting me in Memphis before we got married and he tricked me into moving to the frozen snow-covered tundra north Land of No Summer and declared he would accompany me on my Tuesday/Thursday run. MWF I went to the boot camp run by the former Marine drill instructor who thought resting and girl pushups were for sissies and whose pushing made my abdominal muscles visible for the very first time that I could ever remember.
Of course, I wasn't married then, which meant I ate a lot less. Marriage = eating together, eating more, and hey, you're stuck with me so I'm going to have dessert. Divorce is expensive. Easier to put up with a few extra pounds.
When he ran with me - the SH whose only exercise consists of walking from his second-floor office to the basement to retrieve the Dill Pickle Pringles he has hidden from himself - he ran faster and longer than I did. I had to work to keep up. Which I found quite annoying as I am the one who exercises and he does not. Also annoying because see #1 above, I hate running.
I told him he couldn't run with me any more. He thought it was because I don't Care About Togetherness,** but really it's because I'm lazy and I don't want to work that hard.
Now he's decided that maybe, maybe he wants to run in this race, mostly, I think, because you get some kind of discounted Summerfest ticket. But he doesn't want to start training until the snow is gone.
Which would leave him like a week to train.
I run - if you can call it that, which you really can't, as the more appropriate term is "amble along aimlessly, breaking into a light jog every now and then" and also "walking along gingerly with the head down looking for ice on the road because the last thing I want to do is slip and break my ankle" - once a week. I go to my step aerobics and my weights classes four days a week.
And yet, SH could probably beat me in a race.
He's probably right. He probably can wait until the snow is gone to train.
* My first triathlon, I was passed by the guy in the wheelchair. I finished dead last. DEAD LAST. All the food was gone by the time I got to the tent.
** I do not, however, Care About Togetherness. Togetherness is overrated. I Care About Getting Along, which means not too much Togetherness.