Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Marriage 301, Lecture795: Drink now, wine later

Halftime during The Game, which the Packers won hahahahaha my Bears fans friends. We are going to Dawn's for supper after the game is over, but SH has not showered yet. The plan was for him to shower when the Packers had a 21-point lead, but that never happened, as THE PACKERS GOT COMPLACENT, which better not happen when they play the Steelers. The nail-biting, heart-stopping drama of that game just about killed me.

We went to a sports bar last week for the Atlanta game (because we had no way to watch it at home on our cable-free, antennaless basement TV, which got two channels), which was easy to watch, as it appeared to be a re-creation of Sherman's March, but the Bears game? Oh man. It's a good thing SH didn't get the antenna until last week. If I'd had to watch every game this season, I'd be a nervous wreck. I don't know how sports fans do it.

So. SH. Unshowered. And instead of taking a shower? He is in the laundry room/wine cellar, picking a bottle of wine to take to Dawn's. This is a process that takes all of halftime plus the beginning of the third quarter, which might have been when the Bears scored, which meant he wanted a complete play-by-play from me but I said no way jose you're supposed to be taking a shower and he said I was mean not to tell him what happened and I said well you're the one who decided now was a good time to rearrange all your wine, something he does about once a week as rearranging and taking inventory is one of his favorite things to do, including with the fridge and the freezer, which drives me crazy because he stands in front of the OPEN fridge/freezer, pulls out each item therein and asks me what it is, so usually, I just flee to the bathroom and hide while he is doing this.

Me: Why can't you take one of the [eight bottles he spent 20 minutes picking out at] World Market wines?

SH: No! Those are new! I bought those to drink in a few years. We can't drink those now!

Me: It sure would have been a lot faster to just take one of those. They were already out.

SH: You don't understand wine!

Me: I don't care.

I had to call Dawn at the end of the third quarter and explain we would be later than anticipated because SH probably wouldn't be bathing until the game was over.

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