SH: I farted. I'm sorry.
Me: You don't have to announce it, you know.
SH: But I should apologize when I fart. It's rude to fart and not apologize.
Me: But what if I don't notice? Then you've apologized for nothing.
SH: I don't say anything if I don't think you'll notice. If it's a stealth fart. But when I think you'll notice, I apologize.
Me: Just don't say anything. I'll let you know when you need to apologize.
* Thanks to Tish Jett for the title.
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