Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Marriage 301, Lecture 553: Have fart will travel
Yes, this happened a few weeks ago. SH is out of town, remember?
SH: Ooops! I'm sorry!
SH: I farted.
SH: It's bad. I'll move so it won't bother you.
Me: It's too late! It's already out. It doesn't follow you, you know.
PS I am in the middle of watching a movie on amazon prime. I forgot what it's called, but it's a mildly-entertaining flick with Brittany Murphy playing an English chick. Her roommate goes to a therapist for help with his relationships or lack thereof and the therapist defines relationships in terms of farts:
1. The beginning, when neither person farts and both people are perfect (and on their best behavior)
2. The honeymoon, where your partner's farts are cute
3. Reality, where farts are annoying
Wait! I found it! The movie is Love and Other Disasters. From imdb.com:
Therapist: Relationships are best measured by farting.
Peter Simon: Excuse me?
Therapist: The stages of a relationship can be defined by farting. Stage one is the conspiracy of silence. This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend that they have no bodily waste. This illusion is very quickly shattered by that first shy, "Ooh, did you fart," followed by the sheepish admission of truth. This heralds a period of deeper intimacy. A period I like to call the "Fart Honeymoon", where both parties find each other's gas just the cutest thing in the world. But, of course, no honeymoon can last forever. And so we reach the critical fork in the fart. Either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass thereby signifying true love, or else it begins to annoy and disgust, thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and rancid in the formerly beloved. Do you see what I'm getting at?