SH: Laverne! Leave Shirley alone.
Me: Let Shirley handle it.
SH: Shirley's defenseless. She's little. I feel sorry for her when Laverne annoys her.
Me: Uh huh.
SH: I guess maybe I should feel sorry for you when I annoy you. Except you're not defenseless.
Me: You outweigh me by the same proportion that Laverne outweighs Shirley.
SH: But Shirley is mentally defenseless.
Me: Are you saying Shirley is stupid?
SH [pause]: Shirley is very pretty.
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