Saturday, August 27, 2011

Chats du jour: What do we do with the body?

I am facing a problem that many of you probably face in the summer:

What do you do with the corpse of the chipmunk your cat has just killed?

More specifically, what do you do with the corpse of the chipmunk your cat has just killed when it is Thursday and trash day is not until the next Wednesday?

I have already discovered that a chipmunk killed on Monday morning and tossed into the trash will lead to blue bottle flies swarming furiously above the trash can by Tuesday evening. When my husband is grilling the Belgian endive and the trout.


That was last night. Tuesday was whitefish. Pan fried with butter. Served with Lidia's green beans with anchovies, garlic and lime.

Never mind.

Point is that it doesn't take too long for those flies to find a corpse, especially when it's 95 degrees outside. (Which is another thing: if you have to shovel yourself out of your house in the winter, you should not have to be hot in the summer. Just saying.)

So what do you do with the chipmunk? Is the solution to keep Laverne hungry so she'll eat her kills rather than just parading them around the new $5,000 driveway that we got instead of a fancy vacation?

No. That would just mean having to discard the remains of the corpse instead of the entire corpse.

Discarding an entire corpse is not so hard - you just lift it up with gardening tools and toss it in the trash. If it were a gnawed corpse, that might be harder.

What we do with fish remains in the summer (See: Grilled trout) is keep them in a plastic bag in the fridge until trash day, then toss them.

Do I want a chipmunk corpse next to the pear tart, the cubed cantaloupe, and the pesto?

Laverne would.


GB said...

Put it in a zip lock bag, then freeze it until trash day.

Or skin it and grill it, chop it up in scrambled eggs.

Jennifer (Jen on the Edge) said...

I just toss corpses in the back of the yard behind some bushes. None of that putting them in the trash business for me.

Jennifer Fitz said...

1. Get a good squirrel dog.
2. Let the dog range the territory where you do not want remains.
3. The cat will learn to store her leftovers where the dog doesn't go.