Friday, August 26, 2011

Marriage 301, Lecture 670: For better or for career changes

Now that SH is back at the salt mine, earning our daily bread, he has decided that for sure he really really likes having the summer off and how can he swing that every year?

We have discussed a career change and we have also discussed the fact that revolutionary does not pay that much and that it is only the horrible, failed revolutionaries who get their face on a t-shirt, thus earning lots of money, and not the good guys. When's the last time you saw a George Washington t-shirt? I rest my case. You don't want to be the guy on the t-shirt.

So far, the options (outside of revolutionary) are high school math, physics or chemistry teacher, which would require he get a teaching certificate, which would take $ and time and hence is not a great option right now. In some places, Wisconsin offers emergency licenses to math teachers, but I don't think that's an option in our town, as we live in a really good school district that can attract the already-licensed teachers.

The city of Milwaukee takes un-credentialed math and science teachers, but you have to live in Milwaukee, which would mean selling our house and moving a few blocks and we don't want to do that, either.

I also think SH would be a great radio talk show host. He can talk for hours and hours and hours about politics. Hours and hours.

And hours.

Why not use his power for good, I say. He loves to argue about politics. Why not get paid for it?

Then, when he got home, maybe he would be tired of talking about politics. So I wouldn't have to talk about it.

He has also talked about running for office. County supervisor would be ideal. It's officially a part-time job with full-time benefits, including retirement. And the county supervisors here don't appear to do anything except argue.

If you can't beat them, join them.

However, he has learned that the Polka Dot Party already has their candidate for the next election. As SH does not have a trust fund from his father who founded a big company in Boston, he really cannot fund his own campaign.

Which leaves us with my going back to work so SH could enjoy a few years of gold-digging. Which would be fine if I could find something that is low effort and high pay with no annual reviews by a boss who tells me that I use big words that make people feel dumb but then can't give me any examples of such words or any instances of people feeling dumb because of my big words.

I need the high pay because I am a gold-digger and if I go back to work, I would need a new wardrobe, although based on what I see in church, wearing pajamas out of the house has now become acceptable.
LinkI need low effort because even if I go back to work, I will still probably be the person in charge of getting Laverne to drop the chipmunk DROP IT! DROP IT NOW! as I shake her and squeeze her little jaws, which have clamped determinedly on chipmunk #8 of the season.

If Laverne were a fighter pilot, she would have painted on the side of the plane

5 chipmunks
7 mice
1 baby rabbit
1/2 baby possum (part 1 of the story here)

I need a high-paying job that doesn't require that I be at work first thing in the morning so I have time to

1. Get the chipmunks out of Laverne's jaws
2. Go to the gym
3. Check out the bargain counter at Sendik's and
4. Go to the library.

Then I need to be able to come home early in the evening so I can make supper, water my flowerbeds, and play tennis.

Does anyone know of a job like that?


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