Marriage 401, Lecture 612: The operating system won't support that upgrade

SH: If only you liked to stay up late.

Me: If only.

SH: And go to political rallies.

Me: If only.

SH: And go out to bars.

Me: If only.

SH: And drink wine and beer.

Me: If only.

SH: We don't have anything in common.

Me: Nope.

SH: [sigh]

Me: Maybe you need to trade me in for Wife 3.0.

SH: But I like your cooking!

Me: I am a good cook.

SH: And I like the way you kiss.

Me: There is that.

SH: I don't want to lose those things.

Me: Maybe you could put that in the specs: "Must be able to cook and kiss."