Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Marriage 401, Lecture 23: Regulations 5 and 21

At Alcatraz, where we spent the afternoon with SH's stepdaughter and her little boy. We took the tour and got to take the elevator instead of climbing up the stairs because we had a baby carriage with us. What a racket! I hate stairs. If you have a baby with you, you don't have to walk up stairs! I need to start borrowing babies.

We got to the gift shop. "We need to get something for Mark," I said. Mark is the neighbor kid who feeds Laverne and Shirley when we are gone. He took over from Tyler, who moved this summer. What are we going to do when Mark goes to college? This cat thing can be a real burden.

"What about this?" SH asked as he showed me an official Alcatraz guard whistle.

"No way," I said.

"But it's made in the US!" SH insisted.

"I think this would be better," I told him as I pulled out a deck of Prison Lingo cards. Then I reconsidered. "Or maybe not. I'll bet his mother doesn't want him learning prison slang, even if it's old prison slang."

"Plus those cards are made in China and we're boycotting things made in China," SH noted.

"But you have to admire the irony of a deck of prison playing cards possibly being made by actual prisoners," I said.

"The whistle," SH said.

"No! I want his mother to let me hire him again!"

"But he's a 13 year old boy. He'd love a whistle!"

"He's the only person on the block I can hire to feed the cats! I cannot have his mother mad at me."

I looked some more. "This is it. The prison rules playing cards. I think his mom would like this. 'Regulation 21: You are required to work at whatever you are told to do.' Ha. I think my dad must have had these. 'Regulation 5: You are entitled to food, clothing, shelter, and medical attention. Anything else you get is a privilege.' This one is safe."

"Made in China," SH muttered.

"And won't tick off the boss of our catsitter!" I countered.

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