Friday, November 18, 2011

Marriage 401, Lecture 913: The proper approach for sandwiches

Me: Should I make a sandwich for you tomorrow for your flight?

SH: Yes.

Me: I don't know if there's enough bread left.

SH: Oh no! There are only small pieces left!

Me: What are you talking about?
The Song of Something Bad Happened

SH: You ate the big slices!

Me: Yeah. I had toast this morning.

SH: But I was saving the big slices! Why didn't you use the ends?

Me: It didn't even occur to me. Don't worry. There's more bread in the freezer.

SH: It's not the same!

Me: Oh be quiet.

SH: But how could you use the big slices?

Me: I grabbed the first slices I saw.

SH: But I had saved those for sandwiches!

Me: Whatever.

SH: But how could you not think to use the smaller pieces?

Me: I don't spend my life wondering, "Will SH want to make sandwiches? Should I avoid certain slices?" I just make toast.

SH: But I always think like that! I always make sure there are pairs of slices that are appropriate for what I want. I always think through the consequences of any task. You just jump into it.

Me: Which is why I actually get things done and you never do.


Fijufic said...


Rubiatonta said...

Sometimes these conversations you post are entirely too familiar. Because my step-dad is an engineer, and I've heard similar ones most of my life.

Do you also discuss the just and equitable distribution of leftovers?

Is only iceberg lettuce allowed on sandwiches?

And do you have more condiments in your kitchen than any other food category?

If so, maybe we should start a support group.

Class factotum said...

Rubia, interesting you should ask about the leftovers. We just had that conversation three minutes ago. Usually, though, SH complains that I have eaten something and I tell him unless he dibs it, it's first come first served.

He is a lettuce snob, so iceberg is not an issue, plus I grow fancy lettuce in my garden and I use free food before I pay.

Omigosh. The condiments. I have been stealthily throwing away the old salad dressing that he had in his apt when we bought the house 3.5 years ago. Every time he leaves town, I get rid of another bottle. So far, I've been getting away with it. I wish I could get rid of his basement junk.

Definitely a support group is warranted. LOONS: Loved Ones Of Nerds.