Monday, December 05, 2011

Marriage 401, Lecture 715: Funny the penguin being there

It's that time of the year. The time when SH tethers the Traditional Inflatable Christmas Penguin to the porch in an attempt to make our house the Tackiest House on the Block. Bless his heart, he comes from People Who Have Brass, Ceramic, and Glass Frogs All Over Their House, so how is he supposed to know better?

He mentioned something on Friday about getting a tree this weekend, but it rained on Saturday plus I didn't even pick him up from the airport until after lunch, and he stayed out late last night with his Nighttime Wife and he didn't get out of bed until 11:55 a.m., at which point he said he was STARVING, which shouldn't be a surprise as beer just doesn't stick with a person the way it should.

By the time he finishes making our mushroom*/cheese/steak omelettes, it will be Too Late to go out.

Actually, it won't be Too Late because SH is nocturnal and hates the sun but he probably won't feel like it, as he has been traveling for the past month, including Thanksgiving at an undisclosed location but I assure you it was not a restful week for him. Me? I stayed home, watched season 2 of The Good Wife, and ate Fritos. I had a GREAT Thanksgiving, unlike SH. Although at least no blood was drawn on this trip.

I suspect SH will want to spend today doing nothing. Nothing except installing the penguin. Maybe an episode of Friday Night Lights.

I noted that the place where we bought the tree last year is charging $45 for the smallest trees. "The trees are cheaper at Menards," SH noted. "But I'm boycotting them."

Long pause as he did the math in his head. "I might have to break my boycott. There is a Wal-Mart exception for car batteries. Maybe there can be a Menards exception for Christmas tress."

My principled hunk.

* We discovered - much to our lack of surprise - that Laverne likes mushrooms. She was licking the unwashed mushrooms I had put in the colander. I threw her into the basement so I could read the news in peace without having to guard the produce, but then when I was ready to wash and cut them up, I let her back in and gave her a tiny little bit in her dish and she ate it right up then asked for more. SH saw her trying to eat the mushroom stems I had left in another bowl, so grabbed the camera to document, but she saw him with the camera and jumped off the counter because she knows she is Not Allowed to Eat Food Off The Counter and only does it when nobody is watching, like in those split seconds when I turn my back from the cutting board to the sink and BAM! she is on that fish or beef or whatever.

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