Monday, March 19, 2012

Marriage 401, Lecture 899: Fussypants

After I read The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband.

Me: You have some of this guy's qualities.

SH: I don't have Asperger's.

Me: No, but you're a high maintenance drama queen who freaks out and who is very focused on what he wants even if the other person with you doesn't want to talk about politics.

SH: I don't have it.

Me: I didn't say you did. I just said you have some Asperger's qualities. Let me read to you about this guy and laundry.

I read the paragraphs where David Finch, who is absolutely hilarious and brilliant, writes about his habit of fetching his clean clothes from the dryer while leaving the rest of the clothes there. Because he didn't need them. They weren't his clothes.

SH: I'm not like that.

Me: You're a little like that.

The next day. SH goes to the basement to get his second sock. I had put the first one on the clothesline two days ago, but the other one had ended up on the drying rack in the basement. This isn't so hard to understand because I put small things on the drying rack, but sometimes, small things get tangled up in the sheets and I don't find them until I'm outside. Once out there, I might as well just hang them outside. It's easier.

He comes back upstairs, looks at me, looks back downstairs, and says, "I left the rest of the laundry down there."

Me: I know.

SH: I guess I should have brought it up.

Me: Maybe.

SH: But I'm not like that guy.

Me: You are, a little.

SH: I'm not. But even though I don't have Asperger's, I can't imagine not accounting for every sock. I would check for pairs before putting the clothes in the laundry. I would hang them on the line together or on the drying rack. It comes naturally to me. Whenever I see one shoe or one boot, whether it's yours or mine, I think, "Where's the other one? Why isn't the pair together?"

Me: If you want to be in charge of the laundry, Mr Fussy Sock Matcher, go ahead.


webb said...

to which you got NO reply! It's a Y-chromosome thing.

Class factotum said...

A friend's husband complained she wasn't rotating his underwear.

She stopped doing his laundry. Which was appropriate, I thought.