Monday, April 02, 2012

Marriage 401, Lecture 319: Just the facts, ma'am


SH called me on Friday morning to tell me that he wouldn't be in on the earlier flight. "Did you get my email?" he asked.

No, I hadn't. He had sent it to my gmail account and I have stopped using gmail and other google products when possible because I am not happy about their concern that I never have to look hard for anything. Don't worry! they say. We'll just look at your email and your searches and everything we can get into and figure out what you might want!

No thanks.

So he told me that he didn't have a chance to get the earlier flight out of Minneapolis because his flight to Minneapolis had been diverted to Salt Lake City, etc, etc, etc.

"This is all in my email," he said.

"Did you get to see M and V?" I asked. They are his stepdaughters from his starter marriage.

He sighed impatiently. "That's all in the email!" he said.

"OK, OK, Mr Cranky. I'll look at it when we get off the phone."

And I did.

This is the entire email:

Sweetie,

My flight from San Francisco to Minneapolis started very smoothly (and took off early) but was diverted to Salt Lake City because of a medical emergency. A fairly young woman apparently had trouble breathing and was taken off the plane here by paramedics.

We should be taking off soon for Minneapolis, and I'll get there too late to catch the earlier flight to Milwaukee but in plenty of time to make my scheduled flight.

I had very nice visits with V and M and their families.

I ask you. If you want to know if someone visited someone else, do you really want just a yes or no answer to that question? Or do you want information?

I picked him up at the airport a few hours later. "I saw your email," I said. "All it said was that you saw them. What else?"

"What do you mean, what else?" he asked.

"I mean, what happened? Anything of interest? Anybody say anything of interest? Any news?"

"I saw them, OK?"

"Yes, but what did you talk about, Sheldon?"

It took me ten miles to pull this information out of him, information I think we will all agree is worthwhile intelligence and definitely in the "what else?" category:

Both of them are thinking about having second children
M is thinking about going back to school to become a dental hygienist
She had thought about acupuncture but the school's too expensive
Mateo (M and B's little boy) was sick but still wanted SH to play with him but SH is germ phobic
M and B's cat, Hattie, has decided that Mateo is old enough to be accountable for his actions and she no longer puts up with having her tail pulled
V is finishing college this semester
She and E are still living in his mom's house with his brother but they want to buy their own house

This is all news. This is all more than "Yes, I saw them." Honestly.

4 comments:

webb said...

You DO realize that the Y-chromosome is defective, don't you? At the very least it is missing a "leg" (hence Y, not X). This causes many problems, beginning with faulty communications.

Anonymous said...

My husband waited a whole day to tell me he got an email from a confirmed bachelor friend announcing his engagement!
L

Highland Fashionista said...

Classic Man stuff. Kings of the literal interpretation. Did you see them? He is thinking that yes, he saw them...with his eyes. Sigh.

Class factotum said...

Ah, webb. 'Twas ever thus.

Fashionista, he had a meeting at work once with a guy who was going through the sex change process. No surgery yet, but he was dressing as a woman and taking hormones. I was fascinated - what kind of shoes does this person wear? Makeup? What are the day to day implications? I asked SH about him and he shrugged it off - he had no details to offer. All he'd noticed was that the guy wasn't a very good engineer.