Me: I tried to sweep it up -
SH: Wait. Which broom did you use?
Me: The one in the closet. Anyhow, I tried, but -
SH: You used the inside broom outside?
Me: Yeah. So anyway, I --
SH: That's the inside broom! You can't use it outside! You should use the outside broom for outside sweeping!
Me: What? What are you talking about?
SH: That's the inside broom. It's dirty outside. For sweeping outside, you should get the push broom from the garage.
Me: You're kidding.
SH: No! Now you got the broom dirty!
Me: It was the driveway! It's not that dirty!
SH: You're not supposed to use the inside broom outside.
Me: Whatever, Martha.
SH: She would agree with me, I know.
SH: And don't use the upstairs broom in the basement. There's a separate basement broom.
Me: I am married to a crazy man.