Friday, May 18, 2012

Marriage 401, Lecture 362: Tying one on

As we were walking to the restaurant for SH's fancy birthday dinner. We eat at this place once a year. It's a little pricier than our usual eating out places, but for a birthday (and with the check my mom sends him), we make an exception. The food at this place is fabulous, but the service is a wee bit pretentious: Do we want bottled water? No, thank you, Milwaukee has excellent tap water that I'm already paying for.

The waiters work in pairs - serving partners. Waiter #1 insisted on explaining every single item on the special menu, just in case we didn't know what gnocchi were. Or lamb. Or minestrone, which was served as vegetables in a bowl accompanied by a small pitcher of vegetable jus with a few chicken bones added for richness that the waiter very carefully and slowly poured over the bowl of vegetables. He explained that the stinging net-tles in the gnocchi (also overpronounced) had been blanched so they were edible. They taste like chard, he said.

It took him five minutes to explain to us food we had already decided to order.

Waiter #2 read the situation much better and decided it was OK to vary from the script. He realized we were not interested in hearing him talk and talk and talk about the menu, so he just took our order and went away.

I preferred Waiter #2.

Oh. But I digress. The whole point of this story is that as we were walking to the restaurant, which is only a mile from our house, SH's shoes kept coming untied. So we had to keep stopping for him to re-tie them.

Me: Why don't you just tie them the right way?

SH: I've tried that and I can't.

Me: Are you saying you are incapable of learning anything new, Mr Phi Beta Kappa?

SH: It's too hard. Plus I don't think it would make a difference.

Me: Oh yes it would. If you tie them right, they stay tied.

SH: It's not worth the effort to learn.

Me: You live your life putting out fires. Think about how much time you would save overall (total cost of ownership, for you process geeks like me) if you only had to tie them once? Even if it took a little longer to do it right, you wouldn't be stopping all the time to re-tie.

SH: I don't think they'll stay tied.

Me: Wanna bet? Let me tie them, Mr I Can't Tie My Own Shoes.

We stopped. I tied them the right way. They stayed tied all the way to the restaurant, the entire time we were at the restaurant, the entire way home, and until he removed them to go to bed.

Now he wants me to tie his shoes for him again. But I can't always be there, can I? He needs to learn to do it himself.


webb said...

I was going to make a snarky comment about the illegality of marrying a three-year-old, until I watched the video.

Now, instead, i have learned a new skill! Gracias!

Class factotum said...

Webb, I know! I used to have to double-tie all my shoes, but not any more.