Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Wisconsin 101: This is how we sell beer for God

Do you guys remember when I volunteered with the church group at the Miranda Lambert concert? Brats and beer for God?

I volunteered at another concert - Nickelback, a band I have never heard of except for references on facebook as to how much they stink. All I can tell you is 1. they started on time and 2. they are very loud.

But that's not the point of the story. Remember the guy who runs the whole shebang from the volunteer side? And how he would flirt with all the ladies and tell them that we were on a mission from God because that got them to buy more beer and brats, not that people usually need to be encouraged to do that here, but I have to say the brats are rather expensive at the arena and they didn't look that good.

Well, this guy - let's call him "Art" - was working at a cash register the other night. A young woman got into his line. She was very pretty, but her heavy makeup made her look a little cheap. She didn't need it. I noticed her because she was so pretty and because she was rubbing her hand right above her bosom. That's not something you see people doing every day.

When she got to Art, she leaned way over the counter, lifted her chin, and whispered to him. Then she leaned further, hugged him, and kissed him on the cheek.

We all watched this in awe.

As soon as she left, I ran over to him. "Tell me you know her! Tell me that's your niece!" I demanded.

He shook his head, laughed, and said, "I've never seen her before in my life."

Half an hour later, she returned. This time, she had removed her jacket so you could see her tight pink tank top and all her assets. The flirtatious behavior continued: pursed lips, lifted shoulder, half-closed eyes. Honestly, if I had known half these tricks when I was in my 20s, I would have been in tall cotton.

I mosied on over to eavesdrop.

"You can come to where I work," she suggested to Art. "At Encore."

She blew a kiss at him and left again.

The next time she came back, I got over in time to hear her say, "If you come, I'll give you a lap dance!"

That's when Art blushed beet red. She looked up. Maybe that's when she saw the sign above Art that said we were a group from St B's Catholic Church.

She didn't come back.


webb said...

Are you saying she wasn't interested in "nookie for god"? but had a more worldly motive?

Class factotum said...

Oh Webb. She was shameless.