Saturday, September 01, 2012

Marriage 401, Lecture 116: Shock collar

Honestly, SH must have been beaten bloody when he was a kid if he ever spilled anything if his adult reactions are any clue. Most people, if they spill some water on the floor, just say, "Oh. I spilled something." Then they either clean it up or, if they are on their way out to a book club meeting that starts in two minutes and is five blocks away, they shrug and say, "It's just water. Only a little bit. And I'm washing the floor tomorrow, anyhow."

That is the normal reaction. The freakout reaction is reserved for those who were beaten with whips and then had salt rubbed in their wounds after, I think.

You guys know SH is a freakouter. I've written about it many times. I'm a "Oh well that stinks let's clean it up"-er.

But he's getting better. I'm proud of him.

Last night, as we were about to walk out the door, I realized I'd left the stove on. We have a horrible, horrible, smoothtop electic stove that I hate with the heat of a thousand white suns. I have dreamed of the day when we can rip that thing out of our house and replace it with a gas stove. It's awful. It takes forever to heat up. You can't get a consistent temperature on it - like a low flame on a gas stove - because the way it works is by being on and off. That's it. Either it's glowing red or it's not. The speed that the burner alternates between on and off is what determines the temperature. If it's on a low temp, it's hard to notice that it's on unless you're really watching because your quick glance might land on the burner when it's in an off phase. I HATE THAT STOVE.

So I realized I had left the burner on after I pulled the pot with the farro off. Actually, SH noticed. He noticed that the tiny indicator light that shows that a burner is on, which is not much different from the tiny indicator light that shows that the burner is still hot, was on. So I turned off the stove. I had put the pot back on the burner, which was the wrong thing to do, but I had the pots from the spinach, the pasta, and the hard-boiled eggs on the other burners, so there wasn't much room. I pulled the pot off the burner. Done. Let's go.

SH looked and said, "But that pot was on the burner! We need to cool it!"

I disagreed - "It will cool by itself."

He shook his head. "I don't want it to warp." He got a glass of hot water and tossed it in the pot as I protested, saying that the water would have more potential negative impact than the heat.

What happens when you toss water into an empty hot pot?

It splashes. On the floor.

And so what?

"Let's GO!" I said.

"Oh no! Oh no! OH NO!" he said. "There's water! On the floor!"

"So what?" I asked. "It's water. It's clean water."

"But it's a mess!"

"I'm washing the floor tomorrow. So no big deal. Let's go!"

"We can't just leave this! We have to clean it up!"

"We can leave it! I promise!"

And here's the miracle: SH let himself be dragged out of the house. With water on the floor. I have been telling him I need to get him some aversion therapy for things like this, but maybe he's been going to a 12-step program while I'm at work. He's making progress. This is good.


Joy said...

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE electric stoves. Hate them. Gas is the only way. I am so sorry that you have a smoothtop stove.

Class factotum said...

Joy, our plan was to replace the electric stove with a gas one this year, but our financial situation has changed. :(