Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Marriage 401, Lecture 224: Want to see my etchings?

SH: I don't understand why women dress up to go to the gym. When I was going to a gym, I was there to work out. I got in and I got out.

Me: Maybe some women might want to meet men there.

SH: Maybe. But when I was working out, I didn't have time to socialize.

Editor's note here: SH the Engineer is highly focused on the task any time he does a task and it is almost impossible to distract him. This is good for work but not so good for anything involving me, as in, if he becomes fixated on a political issue, it is impossible - and trust me I have tried - to change the subject. There must be people who would be delighted to discuss tax policy over Sunday morning breakfast, but I am not one of them. I want to discuss tax policy with SH never.

Me: Maybe you missed your opportunity. You could have met a nice, working-out lady and married her instead of your ex. I am always telling my brother to go to Jazzercise.

SH: But that's all women!

Me: Exactly.

SH: I did relax after working out by sitting in the hot tub. But there were never any women there.

Me: I'm shocked.

SH: That's when I would have wanted to talk to them. Why didn't they go to the hot tub if they wanted to meet men?

Me: I don't know. I sure can't think of anything more appealing than getting into a body of germy water, wearing almost no clothes, with a bunch of men I don't know.


Anonymous said...

I know I'm just some random stranger to you, and I forget already which wash-post article I got to you from. BUT, what's fascinating to me is that I come from a family of Difficult People. Of which I may be my own brand, of course. However, what's interesting to me is that I have these Doing It Wrong debates across the board, with the engineer types (of which I am one) and the non-engineer types, who have their own brand of Wrong. A sister who is hyper sensitive and difficult and completely unaware of how difficult she is - the fights about process are endless. And I too feel that the end result is what counts most, can slough off water on the floor etc.

The thing is, optimization is only one excuse for being a selfish boor. Non engineering types can use all kinds of asinine excuses for why their way is the One True Way. And engineering types can understand the concept of diminishing returns or that, hey, it's water, it dries.

I thought I was going somewhere deep with this comment, but I guess not. I noticed that initially I thought you could be more accomodating and only after comparing it to my own SH's did I realize how exhausting it becomes. It's not one thing, it's the endless debates, the endless inability to give as much as they take, the narcissism of never considering that your way might be Good Enough and indeed the Better Way. Sad.

Class factotum said...

Oh Anon - the family drama with SH's parents! I can't write about it here because he misguidedly gave them this address once. But oh man. The stories I could tell you! SH is the only good thing to come from those two people.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I went back to check how I ended up on your blog, and it was a comment about empyting out the freezer vs the accumulator/ hoarding chocolate.

So, my way of dealing with the discount candy (which comes around every Halloween and Easter) is to know either how much I can use in 6 months or how much freezer space I can dedicate. Actually I don't freeze chocolate (the cocoa fat solidifies and turns that white color) so space isn't a real limitation. Anyway, if he is rational enough you can say "enough chocolate to last until the next half price sale", I hope. This one is funny because I do work hard to empty the freezer/ cupboard BUT I also like to stock up when things are cheap, so I have this complex rubric in my head of how fast we use things vs how often it goes on super-sale and how quickly it can go stale. I am constantly upbraiding myself for being anal about it, but a juice that's usually 3.80 goes down to 2.50 once every other month, so I try to stock up. Yeah we can afford the extra 1.30, but it's shelf-stable, we have the space, and it's easier to buy a case on sale than to have to stock up every week. But there's a dopamine reward to getting a sale. Maybe you can donate extras to a food pantry when he's not looking?

Class factotum said...

Anon, I have a spreadsheet to track what's in the freezer, but it still gets tricky. I'll see chicken on sale for 89 cents a pound when I'm at the store and forget that I have ten pounds at home.

Fortunately, chocolate does not go bad quickly. So there is no problem with overstocking.