Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Marriage 501, Lecture 21: You're not doing it right

The other day, I flushed the toilet and Laverne came running into the bathroom. She skidded across the floor and bumped into the toilet, then jumped up onto the seat (the wooden seat that SH got me for Christmas a few years ago so my bare hinder wouldn't freeze every time I touched it in the middle of the winter night when the thermostat in our heat-leaking house is set to 55) and ducked into the bowl for a sip.

I have never seen Laverne do that.

She likes to watch things move, but she has never shown an interest in drinking from the toilet.

 I scolded her, then called SH so he could see what was going on.

He went into the kitchen and looked at their water bowl.

"Their water is empty!" he said. He went downstairs to check their basement water bowl. "This one is empty, too!"

We slipped into our usual argument: SH wanted to assign blame and I wanted to solve the problem. That is, I filled the water bowls while SH asked me how, how could this happen?

 I told him it was his fault (I play the Assign Blame Game when I can win).

SH: How is it my fault?

Me: Because their water gets changed in the morning and you're now the morning feeder. [I don't feed the cats before I leave for work. I leave the house at 6:45 a.m., which is far earlier than they have ever been used to being fed, and before SH wakes up. I don't want them in the kitchen whining and crying and waking him up because a cranky SH serves nobody. They are very much give them an inch they'll take a mile cats: if I were to let them out of the basement to feed them, they would next demand to be let into the bedroom because that window, even though it has the same view as the kitchen window, is better. I don't know why. It just is. Probably because it's behind a closed door and is there anything more appealing to a cat than a closed door?]

SH: But I just feed them. I don't water them.

Me: Watering is part of the morning feeding.

 SH: No it isn't. Watering is your job.

Me: No. It is part of the feeding. Watering is not assigned by person, it is assigned by time.

SH: It's your job. You never told me it was part of morning feeding.

Me: I didn't think I needed to!

SH: Why don't you give them water in the evening when you feed them then?

Me: Because water is part of the morning feeding! Not part of the evening feeding!

 SH: Didn't you notice their water was empty when you fed them tonight?

Me: Of course not. I wasn't wearing my glasses. I couldn't see a thing.

SH: You're not doing it right. Watering is watering and feeding is feeding. They are not the same function.


Alicia said...

Your life makes me very tired!

** Laughing while I type this **

Anonymous said...

If you had a cat-sitter come to visit, would feeding and watering be separate lines on the instructions? Would you expect them to make separate visits for each task?

I rest my case.

P.S. Zouzou has decided that she's allowed to lick the butter off my toast. Where do they get these ideas?

Anonymous said...

Ask SH if he waited a work day for the drink with his meal