Tuesday, October 09, 2012

The working life: Gag order

You guys, it is a lot harder to blog when you have a job. I don't know how I did it before, except that I had a job but did not have a husband or cats. Which meant I had nobody demanding my attention and I'm talking to YOU, Laverne. And SH. And I had nobody but me shedding in the house. I used to need to wash my kitchen floor maybe once every three weeks. And I had a cleaning lady once every three weeks, so I never had to do it myself.

I miss my cleaning lady.

Except for the part when she let her toddler daughter scribble with an ink pen all over my newly-reupholstered white sofa. And then not telling me about it. But turning all three pillows upside down so I wouldn't notice.

That wasn't so great. I had to fire her. Although I should have fired her when she left the gate open at my friend Holly's house and the dog got out and was hit by a car and killed. I should have fired her after that, in solidarity with Holly. If such a thing ever happens again, I will not wait to act. I will fire immediately. If someone has been asked repeatedly to make sure to close the gate so the dog doesn't get out but then doesn't do it and the dog does get out and is killed, then action should be taken.

There is stuff going on but I can't write about it. It's not wise to write about one's workplace except in the most general of terms, like The Woman Who Wears Too Much Perfume or The Person Whose Phone Has The Annoying Ring or The Woman Who Smacks Her Chewing Gum. Not one of those descriptions identifies a specific workplace. I'll bet each of you have those people where you work. Plus the Guy Who Eats The Smelly Lunch and The Cougher/Throat Clearer.

Oh cubicle life.

I can't write about work. I can't write about in-laws. I can't write about SH's job.

Which leaves the cats, who I don't see as much now because I am gone from the house, and the weirdos at the gym.

Bless her heart, one of the attendants at the Y asked me today if I wanted to wear a snuggy next week for crazy days. I had to ask what a snuggy was. When she told me, I explained that I didn't think a blanket with sleeves would project the professional image that I am trying to cultivate at my job.

However, I will say that I would not be surprised to see some other people at my workplace dress that way. And that's all I'll say about that. Except it's pretty easy to look professional and polished when those around you might be wearing snuggys.

1 comment:

Diedra B said...

yes, I can't write much about the work either. . . I used to. . . and that wasn't smart