Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Marriage 501, Lecture 469: ERA

Oh you guys. I am weary. I am weary, weary, weary. It's been a hard few months, what with SH's big project. But that ended last week and now I have my husband back and I remember why I married him. He drove into town today and we went for lunch together at the Armenian place. Both of us had a ton of garlicky food. It's a good thing I work in a cubicle far from my co-workers. They don't deserve my garlic breath.

So it was the first time we had eaten lunch on a workday while I was at work since our first date in Memphis, when he had a long layover at the Memphis airport and I was still working, even though I had gotten my layoff notice. 

I was not inclined to worry too much about taking a long lunch. What were they going to do to me? Fire me?

That was the famous lunch where he did not pay for lunch because 1. he didn't think it was a date and 2. he was visiting me and doesn't the host pick up lunch?

I had lived in The South for several years by then and The Rule in The South is The Man Pays, which I think is a very good rule. 

So sue me.

Anyhow, I am weary because it's been hard around our house with this project and all the extra stuff I've been doing in addition to working for money. I mean, I have been doing my regular stuff - the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry - but just in less time than I used to have to do it. But now that SH's project is over, he has more time and the chores will be divided more equitably. I didn't mind doing everything when I didn't have a money job because I thought it was such a great deal not to have to get up early, shower, and be presentable every day, but now that we are both income generators, we also both need to be housework doers.

The problem is that SH does not have the same standards I do.

He thinks it's OK to have dirty windows.

I do not.

I think it's OK to put the dishes away even though there are a few drops of water clinging to them.

He does not.

Fortunately, he likes some of the chores I hate, like vacuuming. I hate it. I hate any chore where I have to put on my glasses to do it well. Plus it's such a picky chore - so many nooks and crannies to get to. It was not as much of a problem when I lived alone because I didn't have cats or a husband or any other shedding being in my house and I had fewer places for hair and fur to accumulate. But now - two cats of a breed that is not supposed to shed and a husband means a lot more cleaning.

I think we'll be able to come to an agreement. Since I started working, he has been doing most of the grocery shopping, a chore I do not care for, and he has been going to the library to pick up the books I requested. 

(Is that not one of the best deals there is as a taxpayer? That I can select a book from another branch of my library system and they will bring it to my library for me? I love the Milwaukee Public Library.)

Now, he will have time to vacuum and maybe do laundry, although he says he will not hang clothes on the clothesline because it takes too much time. That's fine. It's getting too cold to hang them out anyhow. (It snowed yesterday.) I can live with doing most of the rest of the chores and just not wearing my glasses when I'm at home.

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