Friday, December 14, 2012

Marriage 501, Lecture 34: Because I don't care about togetherness‏

We had an interesting discussion at work, which led to an interesting discussion on facebook, which led me, naturally, to Rome.

The question: What do you do if you are traveling with your spouse/SO/whomever and that person is offered an upgrade from coach to first or business class, an upgrade that would leave you back in coach?

I was surprised - really surprised - at the strength of emotion behind the responses. 

I was also surprised at how wrong - I'm sorry, how diverse! - the other answers were.

Specifically, they all disagreed with me. At least, at work they disagreed with me.

As in, it would not fly at all for them to accept an upgrade if it meant the spouse had to remain in coach. Not because they cared that the spouse would be in coach alone but because said spouse would be furious.

"But my husband is six feet tall," I explained. "It's a lot more comfortable for him to be up front. I always tell him to take the upgrade if he is offered one."

A co-worker laughed. "I could be 100 feet tall and my wife wouldn't let me do that!"

Facebook friends were a little less diverse, with some maintaining that those who travel together should not be put asunder, but with more saying, "Heck yes - maximize the total comfort level of the group!" Those who were more in favor of taking the upgrade are those who travel extensively and who are eligible for upgrades.

I guess I am not a very good wife - I don't care about being together on the airplane. As long as I am not next to a space hogger - which I am not if I am next to SH and which I definitely am not if I am next to the seat SH has vacated, then I don't care. No smelly people, no armrest hogs, no talkers. Then I'm fine. I read my book and am happy to be left alone.

What do you guys think? If your spouse/SO is offered an upgrade and you are not, what do you do?


webb said...

Im with you. It would give me more room to have him move up. Go for it.

deb said...

Agreed. Go for it.

Anonymous said...

Why wouldn't I want anything that would improve comfort for a loved one? He'd do the same for me.

Anonymous said...

Omg...move him to first class! He needs the leg room. Besides he gets air sick...let them deal wih him in first class!
I a terrible wife!

Gaylin said...

If I was traveling with someone and either of us were offered an upgrade - take it! I usually book seats side by side in the aisle anyways. I like to be on my own (theoretically) on the plane. Read my book, listen to music, talk only when the I have to.

Class factotum said...

I have such smart readers.

Jen on the Edge said...

No. The point of traveling with one's spouse/SO is to be together. If one gets an upgrade, but the other does not, that is not together.

If mine were offered an upgrade, I'd be irritated that he was up there in palatial splendor while I would be crammed in the back like veal. If he offered me the upgrade and to take the place in the back, I'd feel guilty and wouldn't enjoy myself in 1st.

Together. Together. Together.

Now might be the time to mention that I've been married 21 years and we still really like each other a lot. :-)

HelsBells said...

Been in this exact situation. I was offered upgrade on an international flight. Gave it to my SO because he's 6'3" and I'm only 5'2". He would have been miserable for the 8+ hours in cattle class. Plus, I could read and sleep in peace, without him jarring me awake while he kept trying to get comfortable. And he brought back higher class goodies to me throughout the flight.

Class factotum said...

The beauty of this situation is that there is no rule that has to apply to everyone. But Jen, any time you want to pass on that upgrade, send it my way!