Sunday, December 16, 2012

Marriage 501, Lecture 653: Not making a decision is deciding

Me [via facebook to SH]: I hope you're feeling better this morning. xoxoxoxo

SH: It's good that I got some sleep. I do feel better, but I had an enormous amount of crud to clear out by coughing and blowing my nose. The Mexican pastry with apple filling is OK, but the filling is from a can.
The oatmeal muffin (there was a little piece in the bag with the pastry) is very good when it's warm and buttered!

 This is the oatmeal muffin of the batch I made yesterday after showing the recipe to SH in the latest issue of Cooks Illustrated. He approved of the recipe and agreed that yes, I should try it.

Once I actually made the muffins, he decided he didn't like them that much. "Zey are boring," he declared.

"Fine," I said. "I'll take them to work. The IT guys always appreciate my baking."

He shrugged. "Fine."

Me: Should I bring some home with me? They are all in the break room.

SH: I thought you were going to leave some of those muffins here! You didn't?

Me: Nope. You never told me how many.

SH: You asked me how many and I said "I don't know," but that wasn't the same as saying "none."
What's on the dining room table in a plastic container?

Me: "I don't know" = none. It's not a decision.
Those are the espresso merengues. Try one!

SH: "I don't know" is not a decision, but that's not the correct equivalence. "I don't know" = "wait (and do nothing in the meantime)" or "ask me again later."
It would have been more appropriate for you to leave all of the muffins at home than none of them.

Me: Nope. Because they are perishable.

SH: Well, I like them warm. I want some.

Me: So if you had decided "none," then they would have been one day more stale by the time I took them to work.
You had your chance.
You blew it.

SH: Things like that keep for a few days.

Me: By the way, I'll do laundry tonight.
So be ready.

SH: You said you'd bring some home.

Me: What's in it for me?

And then we devolved into an argument about laundry and who should do it.

And he did not have his laundry ready when I got home.

I did bring him some muffins, though.


Koala Blue said...

"I don't know" sounds like he doesn't really want any, but doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying so. But regardless I think I would have left one muffin for him. Just to avoid having what happened happen!

Class factotum said...

KB, yes, that "I don't know" can be hard to interpret. Leaving one muffin is a good idea!