Sunday, December 02, 2012

The working life: The tragedy of the toiletries and not having anyone to blame but myself‏

Here's the deal: if you live in a place where your main concern is being warm enough and keeping enough moisture on your skin so you don't look like a raisin, sweating is not high on the list of items to be prevented. As in, you wear deodorant, you don't wear deodorant, it probably doesn't make much difference.

But if you are in a hot, humid country and wearing clothes that have to be dry cleaned? Then you worry.

So this morning, after I awoke at 5:00 a.m., which was better than yesterday, when I awoke at 3:30 a.m., I got up, did some work, did some goofing off, went to the gym, and ran 2.3 km, which is not very far at all, but yet my gym clothes were soaked because this is a high-humidty area, which is not a quality I associate with the Middle East. As in, it's not a dry heat. It's a wet heat and it's rather uncomfortable. Then I returned to my room, starting messaging with SH, took a shower, and went to put on my deodorant.

I hadn't used it yesterday before going out to walk around because 1. I had no idea it would be so humid - I can get away without deodorant at home when it's 80 because we had a drought this summer and almost no humidity, and 2. I was wearing a white t-shirt and I would rather be a little smelly, especially around people I don't even know, than get those yellow deodorant stains on my shirt.

So it wasn't until this morning that I realized that the deodorant was empty.

Which was when this exchange started.

Me: Hey! I just had to break open the deodorant! I grabbed one to pack and IT IS EMPTY!

SH: Oh, no! I always check the supply before I leave.

Me: YOU ARE A BAD DEODORANT SAVER! I have to not sweat becuase I am wearing nice clothes that have to be dry cleaned!

SH: You'd better freak out.

Me: Why would I check? I don't save EMPTY DEODORANT!

Yes, SH saves empty deodorant. He wants to get every single last drop of product out, so won't throw the container away until it's bone dry. Ha. I tried throwing away a container that looked empty to me and he fished it out of the trash can and accused me of being a deodorant waster. Me! A waster! I don't think so. But the moral of the story is to bury empty containers at the bottom of the trash can.

SH: You're blaming me?  Didn't you use it yesterday?

Me: Of course I'm blaming you! No, I didn't use it yesterday. I was wearing a white shirt and I didn't want deod stains. I'm blaming you because it's your fault!

Two minute break while I bash the deodorant against the marble counter, trying to break it. I can see product in there, but I can't get to it. I finally crack it and pry it open with my tweezers. The one time I don't bring my Swiss Army knife on a trip and it's the wrong time. I scrape little bits of deodorant out and spread them with my fingertips. If nothing else, I'll have dry fingers.
SH: Which deodorant is it?

Me: dry idea.

SH: I've never used that one. It's yours. This isn't my fault.  I'm still sorry that you have a problem. It is more of an inconvenience than on a domestic business trip with a rental car. There's no Walgreens down the street, is there?

Me: No! And there's not even a shop in the hotel. Unless I want to buy a rolex.

SH: I'm sorry, sweetie. But that was never my deodorant. You could have a meltdown. Would that help?

Me: Yes. That would help. Why can't I blame you? It's more fun to blame you.
SH: Maybe you're becoming a Honey after all. You want to assign blame.

Me: Never! I will never be one of them.
SH: Maybe you could still go to [my parents] with me.

Me: Maybe. A life without criticism is no life at all

SH: I used to be even more critical. I'm still too critical.

Me: yes, but you're working on it. xoxooxox

SH: At least I'm honest about it?

Me: at least.

SH: That statement is kind of like a get-out-of-jail-free card, right?
Sometimes fancy hotels have some toiletries they can give out to guests in need. Maybe not deodorant (they may only have toothbrushes, combs, etc.) but you can ask.

Me: I'll ask. I'm going to breakfast now. 

Guess what? The concierge told me I could get deodorant at the mall. Which was not useful information.


webb said...

One can hope that the good news is that you will not ever see the "local" folks again, and the people from your office are probably suffering, too, so won't notice you. Sitting down wind might still be a good idea.

LPC said...

I love it that you are in the Mideast. So much fun.

Anonymous said...

From my days of business travel to the Gulf, I don't remember that many of the locals (vs. the expats) were overly concerned about things like deodorant.

On the other hand, nothing like a Dubai mall for a cultural experience!

Class factotum said...

Webb and Rubi - I did notice when I was out and about that deodorant was not a concern some other people seemed to have!

LPC - it was an adventure for sure.