Monday, February 25, 2013

Marriage 501, Lecture 231: Hoarders





Me: Sweetie, is it OK if I put those wine bottles [that have been in the dining room since September, when we had a political fundraiser at our house] in the recycling?

SH: What?! No! That's a really good assortment of wine!

Me: Oh for pete's sake. Why not?

SH: Why are you in such a hurry?

Me: A hurry? It's been months!

SH: But it's not like we're using the dining room or the living room. It's not like anyone sees it. [We keep the door closed to those rooms and the heat vents closed in the winter because money just flies out of our 1928 brick exterior/plaster interior walls when the heat is on.]

Me: I see it.

SH: I don't know why you're in such a rush.

Me: I want them gone.

SH: But even if someone sees them, they'll ask about them and it makes a really good story..

Me: Fine. Then would you please put the new filter in the furnace this weekend?

SH: Why must you nag so much?

This is why I miss living alone.

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