Sunday, February 17, 2013

Marriage 501, Lecture 612: You're not doing it right #542

So the latest complaint about me from the Well of Endless Drama, aka as The Vault of Everything Bad Thing CF Has Ever Done (which includes the fact that I am a Bad Bacon Eater and a Bad Christmas Cookie Sender), is that I do not address envelopes properly.

As in, I did not address the thank-you note I sent to these people in a way that they found acceptable.

As in, I wrote "LastName" on the "to" line and "Factotum" on the "from" line.

"Didn't she take your name?" they gasped in horror to SH during the Weekly Mandatory Phone Call.

I rolled my eyes. "Have I ever represented myself as 'Class Honey' to anyone, other than the IRS?" I asked SH. "My facebook page, which your mom and dad have not seen, I hope, is 'Class Factotum.' My email address, which they have seen, is 'Class Factotum.' As far as they know, I am Class Factotum and never changed my name."

[NB Which is why I do not understand - blessyourhearts! - why my friends who are the most adamant about keeping their maiden names are the ones who sent Christmas cards to me addressed to "Mr and Mrs Serious Honey. I have never called myself "Class Honey" to any of my friends. However, I am so happy to get actual mail that I am not complaining. Just wondering. That's all.]

SH shook his head. "I don't know."

I continued. "Besides, aren't they the big progressives? I would think they would reject the patriarchal system that endorses a woman changing her name just because she is married."

"They think you are rejecting them," SH said.

"Well of course I am!" I retorted. "I want nothing to do with them."

"They also don't like that you didn't address it to 'Mr and Mrs John Honey.' You just wrote 'Honey.'"

"I know," I said. "That's how I always address letters to married couples who have the same name. That's how I address letters to my mother. I'm lazy. The letter gets there. Who cares?"

"They care," he said.

I laughed. "And if I hadn't written a thank-you note at all, they would have complained about that. And if I had emailed instead of written an actual note, they would have complained about that. If I had addressed the letter properly, they would have complained about my handwriting. [Which would be a legitimate complaint.] No matter what I do, they complain about it."

"That's because you're not doing it right," he said.

A few days later, he said, as he was looking at a note I had written to a friend, "You don't address envelopes properly, you know."

"Oh for pete's sake," I answered in exasperation. "What are you talking about?"

"Instead of writing '15th Street,' you write '15 St.'"

"So?" I asked.

"That's not right!" he said.

I shook my head. "It's a good thing you didn't talk like this when we were dating."


Anonymous said...

Rule in our house - he sends notes to his side - I send notes to mine. Problem solved :-)

Class factotum said...

Kris, I wish I could get away with that! I am not involved in any cards or gifts for his mom and dad, but if they send me a gift - oh, how I wish we could declare this relationship to be gift free, then I do write a note. And get criticized for it.

SH does sign cards for my mom because my mom is nice to him. SH won the mother in law lottery.

Jen on the Edge said...

Are they just now expressing surprise that you didn't change your last name? One would think that they'd have figured that out years ago.

And, no, you're not addressing envelopes correctly, but I wouldn't hold it against you. :-)

Class factotum said...

Jen, I did change my last name legally, but I hate it so much that I never use it. To the IRS and my employer, I am Class Honey. To the rest of the world, I am CF. I have been telling SH for a few years now that all I want for Christmas for the rest of my life is to change my name back. I never should have changed it. If I had known how truly nasty his parents are, I would never have changed it. I want nothing to do with them.