Thursday, February 28, 2013

Wisconsin 101: This is why you wear gloves even if you are just going from your car to the school door, or, This is why you don't skip the abdominals at Body Pump

I was coming out of the polling place after the primary election (yes, I wrote this a few weeks before it posted because that's how I've got to do it these days) and thinking, "I just want to get home because it's so darn cold!" and then of course thinking, "How on earth did I ever let myself be tricked into moving here and how can I escape?"

Then I thought, "Man, it's cold! It's so darn cold! I hate the cold!"

It was about 11 degrees, I think, which is minus something for those of you on the C system. Minus ten? Would that be it?


The sun was starting to set. The light was getting weak. I wasn't wearing my glasses.

I walked a few steps out the door and noticed a woman lying on the sidewalk ahead of me. She was on her back and it looked like she was reaching behind the tire of the car.

"Wow," I thought. "Bummer of a time to drop your keys!"

I walked slowly, thinking about what there might be to eat at the house and would SH be home tonight or not. He was going out later to some stupid election party. No, I had no intention of joining him. Politics is his thing, not mine. I vote and then I focus on the more pleasant parts of life.

I got closer to the woman. Her left arm was still behind the tire but her right arm was flailing.

I squinted. Looked more closely.

She wasn't trying to retrieve something.

She had fallen.

She had fallen and she couldn't get up.

She looked like she was in her late 50s or early 60s. She was plump, but not heavy.

She couldn't get up.

I ran to her and grabbed her hand. I tried to pull her up, but she couldn't pull herself up.

"Push my shoulder," she gasped.

I dropped my purse - my gym bag was still on my shoulder - and with both hands, reached behind her right shoulder and pushed her to a sitting position.

Her clog had fallen off one foot and she was wearing only thin socks. Her hands were bare. I grabbed her right hand and pulled, trying to get her to standing.

She couldn't do it.

I saw some people waiting in idling cars across the street. I kept my left hand on her shoulder, then waved my right one frantically at them. Three people jumped out of their cars and ran over.

I stationed myself behind her while two of the others grabbed her hands. I pushed while they pulled.

It took three of us - three!- to get her up, y'all.

Three people to get one woman from fallen to standing.

I held her bare hands in my gloved hands to try to warm her as we walked her into the building.

And thought, "I am never going to skip the abdominal and core exercises during body pump again."

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