Friday, March 01, 2013

Marriage 501, Lecture 521: How we spend

Me [perusing eBay]: I think I might buy another purse.

SH: What? You already have a purse! You told me you get compliments on it!

Me: So?

SH: So you don't need another one. You already have one.

Me: We had a toaster oven! Yet you bought another one!

SH: That's different. I bought the new one as a placeholder until I could find a good one.

[We had a perfectly fine toaster oven that needed a tiny repair - a new heating element, but SH decided to buy an entirely new toaster oven. So he bought one at Aldi - without consulting me - and I don't like it. But I have made my peace with it and learned how to make sure that the shelf does not fall out of the slots when I am pulling something out. But hear me, toaster oven designers: I should be able to bake brownies in your product and not worry about everything falling because you didn't want to make adequate slots for the sides of the shelf.

So. I had made my peace. But then SH saw a toaster oven on and again, without my input, he bought it. A new new toaster oven. A new toaster oven to replace the other new toaster oven. This is not how My People operate. We make do with something until it is unusable any more.]

Me: We did not need a new new toaster oven.

SH: You'll like this one better. I promise. Man, I wish I had seen this price when I bought that toaster oven for my parents.

Me: I don't even want to talk about how much money you spend on your parents with no reciprocity.*

SH: Sometimes you just have to get the deal. But why get another purse when you have several good, expensive purses already?

Me: Why buy more wine?

SH: That's different! Wine is consumable.

Me: So are purses.

* They think it is reasonable to send SH a link to garden lights that cost $100 with the instructions, "This is what your mother wants for Mothers Day." My mom gets a card. His parents send us gifts like a framed photo of themselves. Deep breath. I am not going to get into this.


Anonymous said...

Since SH buys toaster ovens without your input, you should be able to buy all the purses you want without his. Don't you think?

Class factotum said...

Yes. I do. And I'm glad you are an intelligent rational person who sees it my way.

Koala Blue said...

My ex was like that. We earned almost exactly the same amount. Anything he liked, he bought with our money. No consultation - including a telescope and an SLR plus lenses. But if I came home with a dress or a pair of shoes the inquisition started immediately. I got to the point where I would sneak things into the house. Note - he is my ex.

Class factotum said...

KB, game theory shows that tit for tat is the most stable strategy in the long term for enforcing social norms and fairness. Maybe you should have bought more expensive things!

So who got the telescope when you divorced? I would have fought for it just on principle.

Koala Blue said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Koala Blue said...

You're right, I should have fought for the telescope. But by then I really really wanted not to have to deal with him any more.

So, he got the telescope, the good camera, the more expensive car.

But I did get more than 50% of the value of our house because I had supported him all through grad school. And I got rid of him!