Monday, March 11, 2013

Marriage 501 Lecture 876: Stress upon stress

SH: I've had a stressful night.

Me [up at 3:00 a.m. thanks to jet lag]: Did you get a ticket?

SH: No!

Me: Did you wreck the car?

SH: No!

Me: OK. So what else is there?

SH: I was at the bar, watching Paul's band perform. You should have gone with me. He asked about you.

Me: This would have been the night to do it. I wasn't sleeping anyhow. [See: I can't take melatonin or else I get a melatonin hangover and cut the tip of my finger off.]

SH: So there was this young woman there who was celebrating her 21st birthday.

Me: Uh huh.

SH: And I had left my coat on the table by her. I should have put it over my chair, but I thought it would be OK on the table.

Me: Yes.

SH: I looked at her. She'd been drinking all night. I thought, "She looks like she's about to throw up."

Me: Uh oh.

SH: And then she did. She threw up.

Me: Gross.

SH: I thought, "At least my coat is on the table and not where she's throwing up."

Me: Uh huh.

SH: And then I looked and my coat had fallen to the floor. Into her vomit.

Me: Crap.

SH: Yeah. It's just been a crummy day.

Me: Did you freak out?

SH: No. I thought about it, but I was in a public place, so it would have been embarrassing.

Me: Wait! You mean you can control your freaking out?

SH: Of course!

Me: Then why do you always freak out around me? If you can control it, I want you to control it around me!

SH: But it's fun to freak out around you!

Me: Not for me.

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