Me: Hello. This is Class Factotum. May I speak to Jane Doe?
Receptionist (live person! answering phone!) at vendor site: She's not in today.
Me: Oh. We were supposed to have a call at 2:00. I've emailed her, but haven't heard back from her. She was supposed to call me.
Receptionist: Let me give you her cell number.
Me: I could be a stalking murderer, you know.
Receptionist: Oh, you don't sound like a stalker.
Me: We never do.