Friday, June 14, 2013

Wisconsin 101: This is how we do hats

Ever since I started my job last year, the lady who works at the office by my bus stop has come out to chat occasionally. She has always admired my hats.

I wear a hat not for fashion, although I think hats are neat, but because

1. I get a headache from glare and
2. I don't need to age before my time. Ladies, a tan looks great on a young woman, but you do not want that leathery skin when you get older. (Remember - tanning is what we do to the hides of dead animals - with aged urine, in the old days - to turn them into shoes and purses.) Although if you are a smoker, don't bother with a hat or with sunblock, because that cigarette smoke is going to give you leather lips before you're on social security.

But this lady is stylish and she thinks I am stylish, too, so I let her think that, although I did finally have to admit to her that I wear a hat because the skin of white ladies of northern European descent does not do as well in the sun as does the skin of black ladies.

Tina Turner.

I rest my case.

So she laughed. Told me she has tons of hats and never wears them and she is going to give them to me.

We talked about the hats that the COGIC ladies wear and wondered why Catholic women don't wear Good Hats to church. The Protestants rule on hats and on music.

We talked some more. Introduced ourselves. She can't remember my name so calls me "Miss Libby."

"You look like a Libby," she says, which I take as a compliment because I really like the name Libby. Indeed, I like it better than my name. (Sorry, Mom.)

I can't remember her name. I can, however, remember that she used to be a flight attendant for Midwestern Airlines, a job she loved but then you know. No more chocolate chip cookies for anyone.

Today, three seconds after I got to the bus stop, the door to her office flung open. She ran out, holding a big plastic bag in front of her. She held it out to me. I didn't know what she was doing.

And then I realized.

At long last, the hats had arrived.


LPC said...

What an absolutely killer story.

Gaylin said...


I too am a hat wearer. Very white skin, my noggin has diffuse alopecia and burns easily - causing severe headaches and nausea. (plus my dad died of melanoma, tanning - not for me)

I have 3 main hats. How lovely that you got all those hats from her. What a sweetheart she is!

I hope they all fit and you get lots of use out of them

Joan said...

I am not pale-skinned, which is why I never bothered with sun screen when I was growing up. I don't have (many) wrinkles. I may have been sunburnt once or twice in my life. When I was 36 we spent a week in Florida, and I came back with melasma, which I cannot shift. Hats and the strongest sunscreens are now my best friends, and still can't guarantee that these horrid discolorations won't return.

The lady has good taste in hats-- lucky you!

artroomer said...

I love hats and buy them at Charity shops so I can decorate them with real or fake flowers and bits of lace, feathers etc. Creating their new personality is enormous fun, as is knowing they have a history....nothing like a 'past'...Once I went to the Races at Randwick (Sydney) in a very wide brimmed number upon which I had stitched all manner of ostrich and ribbon. As the ladies in my party bragged about where they had purchased their hats and at what shocking cost, I was asked about my 'wonderful creation'. Before I could answer one of my friends said, "wait for it..." to which I admitted that the hat for $2 and a rummage through a box of stuff in my sewing room was all that had been outlayed. Champagne glasses were clinked all round...