Me: I don't think I would be as nice a mom as Julie [a friend of ours] is.
SH: What do you mean?
Me: She asks her kids if they are hungry and then offers to make them food. I am more Darwinian.
SH: Why aren't you asking me what I want for breakfast?
Me: Because I don't care.
SH: Why aren't you making my breakfast?
Me: Because I don't care if you eat.
SH: But it's my day off!
Me: Oh! I didn't realize that meant I was on duty to prepare your breakfast!
SH: I'm hungry.
Me: Feed yourself.