Saturday, September 07, 2013

Marriage 501, Lecture 764: Clean room

We've been having this fly problem. Three days of flies. Three days out of the entire summer - I am writing this in August, even though I said I was going on blog break. I lasted one day. But I thought I would build up some inventory. And who knows how I'll feel tomorrow? Right now, I am getting ready for a nice evening of watching the second chunk of the British version of House of Cards. If you have not seen the American version or the British version, get yourself to the library right now. It is riveting.

BTW, "getting ready" means, "Washing the outside windows first while it's overcast - I can't stand the filth any longer." And then "preparing to send a little present to a former boyfriend because I found something at the state fair that I thought he would like." And then "sorting the laundry for tomorrow."

SH and I are so different. I can't relax until the chores are done and he is perfectly willing to let the chores wait until Sunday night.

When they do pre-marital counseling, the questions should not be about politics and religion but about how one does chores and whether you do your taxes as soon as you have all the paperwork, like at the end of January, or on April 15.

You guys may guess which of us is which.

I was talking about flies. We have had very few flies this summer because it hasn't really been summer. Global warming has brought us cold, cold temperatures, such that I turned the heat on at the end of July and have had to wear my fluffy socks to bed more than once.

SH is an amazing fly killer. SH is also quite fastidious about cleanliness and washing things for about two minutes each with a ton of soap and he thinks I am sloppy and dirty but may I note that I am not the one who gets sick around here, probably because my immune system is so solid after two years in South America with limited access to running water sometimes.

We had this conversation after I had killed a fly on the windowsill above the sink.

Me: Oh gross. I can't reach it to get it.

SH: Just brush it over here.

Me: That won't do any good. I need to get it to the trash and I don't want to touch it. How can I brush it over here with the flyswatter and then get it onto the flyswatter to carry it to the trash?

SH: You don't have to carry it to the trash.

Me: Really? What's your brilliant idea?

SH: I just brush them into the sink.

Me: WHAT?

SH: And then I turn on the garbage disposal.

Me: You. Are. Disgusting.

6 comments:

Gaylin said...

Last year my landlord put in all new windows in the building with screens. It has been a fly free summer for me.

My sister used to get out the vacuum and suck them in live!

I like my chores done but I do procrastinate a bit, I am somewhere in between you & your husband on the chore front. Time to go put the second load of laundry in.

Glad to read you again, I checked nearly every day. Not because I am obsessive or anything.

webb said...

Sometimes, I think you and i are twins separated at birth. Cannot stand to let my share of the chores just sit. It takes everything I have to let his go. Well, so today I washed part of the kitchen floor. He's been promising for five, count them five, weeks and I just couldn't stand the spots any longer.

They say the deity only gives us as much as we can take. Sure hope that is true.

Marilyn Leslie said...

Welcome back. I have missed your posts. They always bring a smile.

Joy said...

Yay! You're back!

Kyle said...

I'm half way through the American version of House of Cards. It's good but I think the British version was better.

Pam said...

@webb, although, Mother Theresa is said to have remarked, 'God never gives us more than we can handle, but sometimes I wish God didn't think so highly of me.'