I love my husband. I love him madly. He annoys the heck out of me, but that does not mean I do not love him. He is a really good sport about this blog and doesn't mind that I tease him here.
So don't take what I say as a "I hate my marriage complaint." Take it as it is intended - a wry commentary on the challenges of two people sharing a house and a life - an acknowledgement that nobody, including me, is perfect and we can all get on each other's nerves every once in a while.
I do hear people saying they never fight or never disagree with their spouse and I wonder what universe they live in. Maybe SH and I are the outliers - maybe we are the only ones who argue and bicker and disagree. Or maybe there are a lot of liars out there. I don't know. If you tell me you never disagree or fight, my first thought is
and my second thought is
2. One of you is holding it all in because s/he is either scared to disagree or has no original thoughts.
I want to talk about something that SH did that annoyed me and I want to know if any of you guys have experienced the same thing.
Last week, a friend of SH's invited us to dinner. SH consulted with me and then accepted.
Then he told me he had asked if there was anything we could bring.
Then I learned the "we" was me, because the answer was yes and SH volunteered me to cook dessert.
I do not want to be volunteered to bake.
And - bigger issue - I don't expect other people to bring food to my house when we invite them to dinner. We have gracious friends and they always show up with a bottle of wine or flowers or something, but when they ask if they can bring anything, I always say no. Nope. Don't bring anything. It's all under control. You are my guests. I will feed you.
Also part of the bigger issue - I always ask if I can bring something when we are invited.
But if the person says "yes," I don't say, "Well, SH will do something. I will tell you that we will supply X, but by "we" I mean "SH," who does not know I have voluntold him to do something."
When SH informed me that I would be preparing a dessert for this meal, I got annoyed and told him this was not Bewitched where he could show up with Larry at the last minute and expect me to add another plate to the table.
He said that I always ask if I can bring something and that this dessert is not that much work, which was true.
But I thought he should have asked.
And of course the more I write about this, the more petty it sounds.
So maybe I am cranky over nothing. But I think he should have asked.
He was contrite and apologetic - said he had not thought about it because I always ask.
So maybe I overreacted. What do you think?