Monday, October 14, 2013

Marriage 601, Lecture 564: The side of the bed

Here's something that puzzled me during my month-long marathon to watch every episode of all seven seasons of The Closer.

1. Why doesn't Kyra Sedgwick age? Is there a portrait of her in a closet, turning to dust?

2. What is it about fictional characters that you can grow to like them so much? They are not real! They are imaginary! It's all made up. I have grown very attached to Brenda and Detective Gabriel (I wanted to slap that spying girlfriend of his) and all the rest of the team. And the cat. Cats. I liked Brenda's cat Kitty and the other cat Joel. Although I like Laverne and Shirley better. They are cuter. Not that I am lookist when it comes to cats. But my cats are cuter and they are more affectionate.

I have wanted to be friends with characters in books, too. Some characters, I have not liked so much. Frenemies. Kay Scarpetta - interesting, but not somebody I would want to be friends with. Indeed, there are times when I have wanted to slap her. And Sarah Paretsky's Victoria Iphegenia. Annoying.

Bridget Jones, a little too scattered. Kinsey Milhone - I want her to get a new dress, for pete's sake. There is a lot to be said for a black dress that can go in your purse, much in the same way there is a lot to be said for shoes that can go in your dishwasher, but what you can say about them is not nice.

Wow. Maybe there aren't any characters in books I want to be friends with. Nancy Drew. I wanted to be friends with her and her titian hair. Actually, I wanted to be Nancy Drew. I wanted a roadster and titian hair and a boyfriend named Ned and I wanted to solve mysteries.

Where was I going with this? I don't remember.

Oh. I would like to be friends with Brenda, although maybe not. She is just a tiny bit manipulative. But then, who among us is without flaws? Not I that's for sure. I am introverted (not really a flaw but not a characteristic that lends itself to lots of friends) and self-centered and a little bit whiny and I get cranky when I am tired or hungry and then my already-limited amount of patience goes to nothing. And yet there are wonderful people who are friends with me. Friends who have almost no flaws as far as I am concerned.

But that's not what I wanted to talk about - which fictional characters I would want as friends. What I really wanted to talk about is how it seems that on the show, Brenda and Fritz don't each have a side of the bed.

That is, some days, Brenda is on the right side and Fritz is on the left and other days, they switch. Or so I seem to recall.

This is odd to me.

I have my side of the bed and SH has his. He was quite relieved when we became A Thing to discover that my side would not conflict with his side.

We might not have gotten married if we had both wanted the same side of the bed. SH is that inflexible. He just will not yield on his side.

I thought everyone had A Side, but then my friend Lenore, who does not make a Big Deal that her husband goes to bed before she does, unlike some spouses I know, told me that she and Rob switch off all the time. Sometimes she is on the right side of the bed, sometimes she is on the left.

I don't think I could live with that level of chaos. I have enough drama and unpredictability in my life (work). I don't need it at home.

And I wonder how the writers of the show - if I am remembering this correctly - could have someone as inflexible as Brenda switch sides of the bed with such ease. Are these all people who sleep alone?


bobby said...

My husband & I have switched sides of the bed some of the times that we've moved, but we always have a side. For one thing, it's more efficient if I turn off my own alarm clock. He turned mine off yesterday and somehow messed it up so much that not only do I have to reset the alarms (which is what usually happens when he turns it off in a haze), but this time I can't even turn on the radio. Now I have to get out the manual. I don't have time for this. Although I could be reading the manual instead of writing this comment.

btw, I left you some stain removal info at your entry about the ink stain on the shirt pocket. (I was both anonymous comments.)

I'm enjoying reading your blog, and thanks for introducing me to Ask a Manager!

Tricia said...

I have been married for 40 years, and just a few months ago, we SWITCHED SIDES of the bed. Stunning, I know. But the air vent was blowing cold air right on my husband, and I'm at the stage where I wake up boiling hot, so it has worked beautifully.

Anonymous said...

The only time we may switch sides is on vacation, especially if the only outlet for his CPAP is on the other side of the bed. But at home we have our own sides - mine has my alarm in addition to the hand cream, vitamin E cream and books. How do you read in bed if your book is on the other side??

Evelynne said...

I am shocked, SHOCKED, at the very idea of switching. Seriously, I never imagined such a thing. I used to "switch" when I slept alone, in the sense of which side of the bed the nightstand was on and I slept closer to, but since I've been with my husband we've had assigned sides.

He still gripes occasionally that he was forced to switch sides when we first got together, so I offer to switch back, but I think we're too entrenched now. I sleep mainly on my left side and he on his right, so if we switched sides of the bed our knees would be knocking all the time. I hate that.

Joy said...

We can sleep on other sides on vacation (but once we pick sides in the hotel, those are the sides for the duration of the stay). We never switch at home. That would be unthinkable.

babeck said...

Oh, my... we have our side of the bed and never switch. Even on vacation on a small ship when we've ended up in a tiny room with one side of bed on the wall, there is someone who has to climb over but still we never switch. I don't know if I could handle it...haha!

Pam said...

I totally wanted to be Nancy Drew, too. But you don't like VI? I would like to be friends with Lottie and Max.

I have to fight my dogs for space but I have switched sides of my bed depending on which lamp had a working bulb, so you see my priority. Usually I want to be on the side nearest the bathroom. Now there is a priority for you.