SH: I have to tell you something.
Me: What? [Dreading what I might hear - he is in love with another woman, he has lost all of our hard-earned money playing online poker, his parents are moving in with us, the basement has flooded again, he's been laid off from his job, etc, etc, etc]
SH: It's a confession.
SH: You know those Cheez-Its in the basement?
SH: I opened them.
SH: On Wednesday.
Me: On Wednesday?
SH: And I've been eating them since then.
Me: You! You are a Cheez-It eater!
SH: And I put them back in their place on the shelves in the basement so you wouldn't know they were opened.
Me: You ate Cheez-Its without me!
SH: I'm sorry sweetie.
Me: You are not.
SH: A little.
Me: I feel a little bit sick to my stomach.
SH: What's wrong, sweetie?
Me: I had to take an imitrex and they always make me feel kind of crummy.
SH: I'm sorry, sweetie.
Me: And maybe it's because I was eating Cheez-Its this afternoon.
SH: Cheez-It eater!
Me: Now I feel sick.
SH: Should I not have told you that I opened the Cheez-Its?
Me: Nope. You should have kept it all to yourself.
SH: But what if I had finished them and you didn't get any?
Me: Then I wouldn't feel sick. This is all your fault.