Monday, November 11, 2013

Marriage 601, Lecture 312: The Cheez-Its stand alone

On Saturday:

SH: I have to tell you something.

Me: What? [Dreading what I might hear - he is in love with another woman, he has lost all of our hard-earned money playing online poker, his parents are moving in with us, the basement has flooded again, he's been laid off from his job, etc, etc, etc]

SH: It's a confession.

Me: What?!

SH: You know those Cheez-Its in the basement?

Me: Yes.

SH: I opened them.

Me: So?

SH: On Wednesday.

Me: On Wednesday?

SH: And I've been eating them since then.

Me: You! You are a Cheez-It eater!

SH: And I put them back in their place on the shelves in the basement so you wouldn't know they were opened.

Me: You ate Cheez-Its without me!

SH: I'm sorry sweetie.

Me: You are not.

SH: A little.

On Sunday:

Me: I feel a little bit sick to my stomach.

SH: What's wrong, sweetie?

Me: I had to take an imitrex and they always make me feel kind of crummy.

SH: I'm sorry, sweetie.

Me: And maybe it's because I was eating Cheez-Its this afternoon.

SH: Cheez-It eater!

Me: Now I feel sick.

SH: Should I not have told you that I opened the Cheez-Its?

Me: Nope. You should have kept it all to yourself.

SH: But what if I had finished them and you didn't get any?

Me: Then I wouldn't feel sick. This is all your fault.

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