Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Marriage 601, Lecture 1: Mawwiage


You guys, I have never not had fun at a wedding. All weddings are fun, aren't they? They are how comedies end - the joyful union of two people. Tragedies, of course, end with everyone dead. But we are talking about weddings and happy and fun and joy.

But I didn't know how much more fun a wedding was when it is your sister getting married. It is a million times better than a regular wedding.

My sister got married last weekend in Colorado.  It was so much fun. Almost all of my aunts and uncles were there. Jenny's friends from high school and travel nursing - people I had not seen in 20 or 30 years. Great rehearsal lunch, fabulous wedding and reception, wonderful family party at my aunt's house the day after the wedding.

Jen pulled this all together in ten weeks. While she was working full time. From Washington DC.

It was a short notice wedding, in the planning for a long time but waiting for a complicated divorce to come through.

Caveat: My sister met her husband well after he filed for divorce. She is not a homewrecker. It took a few years for the divorce to come through. The papers sat on the desk of a Maryland judge for ten months - no, I am not making this up - and how do you get a judge to hurry up? You don't. There is no way to nag a judge to make a decision already after all the depositions have been taken.

So. As soon as the divorce came through, Jenny called me to tell me they had set a date and voila. Would I be offended if she didn't ask me to be a bridesmaid? No I would not. Should I have been? I have been feeling a little guilty about not being offended, but her maid of honor has been her best friend for 30 years. 

I have been her sister for longer than that, but I never sneaked out of Jenny's bedroom window with her to go out and do things she was not supposed to be doing. Sneaking out together creates a bond that can never be broken. My best friend bond is with Julie P, with whom I drank rum and Tab when we were in 10th grade. There is nothing like rum and Tab to make you decide that liquor is not your thing.

At the rehearsal, which I attended because Jenny said, "You are really good at figuring out what needs to be done," which is a nice way of saying I am bossy and love to run things, I watched Jenny and Matt practice. I had to keep blowing my nose, not because I was emotional but because it is winter and in winter, even in Colorado, where the wedding was held, I get a runny nose.

It was as I was blowing my nose into the handkerchief that my grandmother had embroidered that I realized what the "something old" Jenny needed to carry was.

The handkerchief.

Into which I had been blowing my nose.

So when I got back to my mom's house, I quick washed it in the sink in very hot water, then ironed it dry. Stuck it in my purse, the one that looks like Brenda's purse on "The Closer," which was not the right purse for a wedding, but SH and I had spent a week in San Francisco right before the wedding, him working at a business meeting that had been planned before the wedding and me on vacation, and I didn't have much suitcase space. I didn't want to ruin Jen's wedding with an everyday purse, but I think people managed to overlook it. Plus I think Jen would rather have had the cheese curds and the eight bags of birdseed brittle that I brought.

I am not going to give you a blow by blow of the wedding, because there is not really a plot and I am not that good at describing an event. But it was fun and wonderful. 

I will tell you that sometimes, staying in a hotel instead of at your mom's place is the way to go, too. I am totally from the Tribe of We Who Do Not Waste, but my brother and his dog were staying at my mom's and my mom was heavily involved in the planning and the execution of the wedding and having two extra houseguests was not going to make her life any easier, even though SH and I try to be considerate houseguests who clean up after ourselves and make dinner and don't leave our towels on the floor or over the wooden chair in the guest room. 

SH needed another stay at a Hampton Inn to get his 2014 status anyhow, so we stayed at a Hampton a few miles from my mom's house and it was really nice. The nicest thing about it was that we could have the room as warm as we wanted and we wouldn't see it on our heating bill next month. The next nicest thing was there were no cats, no dogs, and no other people to wake us up in the morning, so we slept until the shockingly late - for us - hour of 9 a.m. And I watched TV until I was sick of it and reminded that we did the right thing to cancel our cable three years ago. Once every three years for "Say Yes to the Dress" is enough. 

PS Obviously, that is my sister up above. Isn't she gorgeous? I think this is one of the best photos I have ever taken, despite the blurriness. She was so happy and so were her friends. I loooove this photo.

PPS My brother tried to get the pastor to say, "mawwaige" during the ceremony,  but was unsuccessful. However, Greg did catch Jenny's eye during the vows and mouthed "mawwaige" to her, causing her to break into uncontrollable giggles, reminiscent of our youth when Greg and I would get Jenny laughing at supper and milk would come out of her nose. Some things don't change.



4 comments:

Alan S. said...

"I have never not had fun at a wedding"

Does that count all the weddings you worked at Cohen House?

CF said...

Hello Alan S! Those CoHo weddings were so fun, weren't they? Remember the Indian one where the men took over the kitchen? And Dr Boorman's daughter's wedding? What a great college job that was.

Anonymous Mother said...

Is this the Alan from Minneapolis?

Class factotum said...

Different Alan, Mom. This Alan and I worked together at Cohen House. You never met him. xoxo