Friday, December 13, 2013

Marriage 601, Lecture 745: Unequally yoked


SH: Maybe I'll vacuum while you're at the gym tomorrow morning.

Me: The class is at 9:00.

SH: I know.

Me: You're funny.

SH: What do you mean?

Me: That you would actually be up and doing chores at 9 a.m. on a Saturday.

SH: It could happen.

Me: Yeah, right.

SH: It could!

Me: Well, if it doesn't, why don't you go ahead and wash the kitchen floor, too?

SH: What? I already do a ton of stuff around here! I'm going to put the snow tires on tomorrow!

Me: I clean the bathroom, do laundry, change the sheets, and cook every week. The tires get changed twice a year. Are you really trying to claim that a twice a year task means you get out of every weekly task?

SH: Changing the tires is a pain in the neck.

Me: Yeah whatever. Why don't you wash the floor?

SH: Because we don't have a mop.

Me: I use a rag.

SH: Because I don't want to.

Me: Yeah, but if you'll wash the floor, then I won't nag you about vacuuming. I only want you to get the vacuuming done on Saturday morning so I can get my chores done early.*

SH: I think I would rather vacuum early than wash the floor.

SH: Oh no! Look at my socks. These are my Good Socks, but they have holes.

Me: Too bad. I guess you need to throw them out.

SH: That's wasteful! Can't you darn them?

Me: I could, but I won't.

SH: Why not?

Me: Because I hate darning. And you have an entire drawer full of socks. You might have enough socks to last the rest of your life.

SH: But I really like these socks.

Me: Nobody said you can't darn them yourself.

SH: I don't know how.

Me: Figure it out. I did.

SH: Please?

Me: I will darn your socks if you will wash the floor.

SH: I don't know.

Me: Up to you.

Saturday, 2:27 pm. The house has not been vacuumed. The tires have not been changed.

But the sheets have been changed, three loads of laundry done, and the menu planned and ingredient prep done for the upcoming week.

* SH is of the "Relax first, work later" school whereas I am German.


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Gaylin said...

One of the few things my ex-husband was good for - vacuuming. Turns out I vacuumed 'wrong', so he would vacuum, once a week! And he did do a better job at it than me, because for me, as long as the floor/rugs aren't crunchy, it is all good.

Now if only he had been a better human being! And a sober one.