Friday, January 17, 2014

Marriage 601, Lecture 23: The secrets of happy couples

SH sent me this link today, noting the first item - that happy couples go to bed together.

We almost never go to bed together. SH gets to work at home, so does not have to get up at 6 a.m. to take a shower in the cold and try to open the front door, which has frozen shut, to walk to the bus stop in the cold and then wait in the cold and then get to work and have to sit in a half-cube that affords no privacy and no quiet and smell the curry that someone has warmed in the break room and listen to someone's phone call on speakerphone.

He does not have to put up with people but I do. And he's the extrovert. I am the introvert. Put me on the jury for someone who has snapped at work and assaulted the person who will not stop eating those carrot sticks and the dry granola and I will acquit because it is justifiable as far as I am concerned.

SH can go to bed when he wants because he can sleep as late as he wants.

I have to get up.

So we argue about this all the time because he wants me to wait for him to go to bed but I do not want to wait. I want to sleep. And he always lies. He'll say he'll be downstairs in five minutes but five SH minutes are like five football minutes.

We had this conversation last night:

SH: Will you wait for me for 40 minutes? The article says we should go to bed together.

Me: No.

SH: Thirty minutes?

Me: No. No because no matter what you say, it's longer. And then I get really angry at you. I don't want to be angry at you. I want to go to sleep.

SH: I was on time yesterday when I picked you up after work.

Me: No, you weren't. First of all, I sent you a message at 5:15 that my meeting had ended early so you could pick me up early and you hadn't even taken a shower!

SH: But I got there at 6:06. And I was supposed to be there at 6:00. So I was on time.

Me: You were not! You were late!

SH: Not if I'm an airline. Anything within 15 minutes is on time.

2 comments:

Pondside said...

It's the same situation here - I'm out early every day for the long commute to town, while The Great Dane stays toasty under the covers - after a late night with a good book or a good movie. Oh to work at home!

John0 Juanderlust said...

I have a suspicion that articles telling people how to be happy together are written by people who are divorced or secretly wish they were. But pride or something causes them to live in denial. They aren't trying to convince you; they are trying to convince themselves