I am on a quest for the dress my sister wore to her wedding rehearsal. It is the dress above. She found it the night before the rehearsal at the mall in Colorado Springs for only $40. If there is anything I like more than a nice dress - a dress with sleeves, which means I can wear it to work --
Hear me, designers and retailers. Maybe in TV world, it is appropriate for professional women to go sleeveless to work, but in the real world, it is not. Not to mention that for many of us, it is too cold to be sleeveless.
We do not all live in Los Angeles with its perfect year round sleeveless climate. And even though we work indoors, it is never warm enough in our offices to be sleeveless. Most of us have the Secretary Sweater draped over the back of our chair. Some of us have a blanket in our desk drawer so we can wrap it around our legs. Our employers don't provide coffee - what makes you think they would provide heat?*
So Jen wore this dress - that she got on super sale - to her rehearsal and it looked great on her. My sister is quite amply endowed. She has A Shape. Me, not so much. But I thought, it still might look good on me. There is shape cut into the dress itself.
I couldn't convince Jenny's maid of honor to take me to the mall. So I went online to find the dress. They didn't have it.
When we got home, I went to the mall here. Not only did they not have the dress, they had not even heard of it. Nope, the saleslady said as she shook her head. We haven't had any dresses with sleeves this season.
I looked at my big fluffy Michelin Man coat, my fluffy snow boots, and the multiple layers that the saleslady was wearing, and sighed. The Coasts might sneer at the lack of style in the Middle, but I dare the Coasts to come here, dress off the rack and not freeze their butts off. It's easy to be stylish when it's 75 degrees and there is no snow, slush, ice, or salt outside, but try to look nice while accommodating the realities of living in a frozen wasteland.
Then I went back online. Miracle! The dress had appeared! And it was free shipping. Was that not a sign?
I ordered it. But I made a mistake. I ordered it in a six, which is what I usually wear (how can I be a six now when I was a 12 in high school but have not lost any weight - net - since high school?). I should also have ordered it in an 8 and a 10 because you never know.
It arrived. I tried it on.
It did not look like it did on Jenny. It did not look like it does on the model.
Me: It's a little tight.
SH: I like tight things on you.
Me: Yes, but for public it's too tight.
SH: Are you planning to lose weight? Because then it might be OK.
Me: I am always planning to lose weight.
Isn't that the story of my life and of many women's lives? "I am planning to lose weight."
I have an entire wardrobe of I am planning to lose weight. I have had this wardrobe for years and I continue to add to it. I am building a wardrobe for a life I do not have and will probably never have. For a theoretical life that does not really matter because nobody is telling me that if I do not lose weight, I will not be loved.
Me: I will return it.
* Note also that overheating an office is as bad as underheating it. My library is overheated and I have to start ripping my clothes off after a few minutes inside.