Wednesday, January 01, 2014

Marriage 601, Lecture 98: Go forth and don't multiply

So SH and I were talking and as it sometimes does, the conversation turned to children and how we don't have any and never will and maybe that's not such a bad thing at our age, given the risks of birth defects plus the fact that we are so darn tired and things ache that didn't used to ache. A person can't even shovel snow for an hour now without feeling it the next day. A person can't even take a few flights of stairs without getting winded, which is sad indeed, as this person goes to the gym at lunch almost every work day, but apparently this person keeps her bike level at a number that is low enough that she can read People magazine without dripping any sweat on the pages so maybe this person needs to reconsider her exercise routine.

Anyhow. I suggested that perhaps at my age, it is no longer necessary to use chemical intervention to prevent the possibility of pregnancy. Not that it is costing us any money for said chemical intervention, although if the government sees fit to decide which chemicals should be provided to consumers without charging the consumer, I would rather they decide that imitrex and relpax should be free of charge to the consumer. (Note I am being very careful about using the word "free," as there is a cost involved in producing all of this and someone, somewhere has to pay for it.) Or insulin. Or asthma medication. There are just a lot of drugs I would put ahead on the list of things I or anyone should not have to pay for.

I suggested that chemical intervention was no longer necessary.

SH: No! You can't stop taking the pill!

Me: Honestly. Do you really think I am going to get pregnant at my age?

SH: Maybe I could have a vasectomy instead.

Me: But what if I die and you remarry some young thing who wants children?

Let's pause here to think of the proper response to that question. How about, "My darling, when you die, I will brick myself inside the house and die of loneliness." Or, "I would never even consider remarrying once you are gone. I could never love anyone else as much as I love you."

No. Neither of those. Not even something similar.

What I have heard from him in the past is, when I have asked why he married me, is that I am not irresponsible or flaky or an emotional mess. And I can cook. And mend clothes. All of which are true - I am very responsible - I had a will when I was 25 - although a lot of my responsibility comes from a certainty that the worst is about to happen so I must prepare. Considering SH's romantic past and his ex blessherheart, I can see why he would seek someone responsible who can do things. It's not like I looked for a flighty wastrel who couldn't hold a job. One must think of these things. Although the main reason I married SH is because he is a hottie.

Not a romantic hottie, but a hottie. I married an engineer, not a poet. Most of the time, I am very grateful to be married to an engineer, as engineers can fix things and are employable. Poets say pretty things but I like being able to pay my mortgage and I like not having to hire a handyman when there is a problem.

But still.

SH: A vasectomy can be reversed.

Which indeed it can.


Pam said...

Be happy he suggested the vasectomy--and get the appointment scheduled before he has time to think about it. Be glad he didn't freak out about 'someone messing with the family jewels' or some similarly inane comment. I understand what you wanted to hear, but you are indeed married to an engineer, and I think you have much to be grateful for in his overall response.

Gaylin said...

The last guy I dated had a vasectomy, I thought that was awesome.
Haven't dated since I broke up with him 8 or 9 years ago? Anyways, menopause has happened, Yippee!!

And yes, you could get pregnant. Unless your period stops and stays stopped for a year, you could get pregnant.

YES to SH getting fixed.