Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Marriage 601, Lecture 761: Better to light a single candle

SH: Uh oh. I left the upstairs door open.

This is bad because Laverne can spot an open door - even one that looks closed but is not latched - in about 1.2 seconds. She will get there in another second, open the door, and be up in the Interdit! spreading her cat fur and dander in the what is supposed to be the allergy- and pet-mess-free zone before SH can even turn around.

We have had the cats for five years now. Five years and yet SH consistently forgets to close the door behind him. And every time Laverne gets upstairs - because there is almost nothing a cat likes better than doing something she is not supposed to do - he gets mad at her, even though I point out that Laverne is not the one who left the door open and she should not be blamed for doing what a cat does.

Me: And you left the light on in the bathroom. Light in the bathroom leaver-on-er.

SH: I use that back light.

We have two light switches in our bathroom. One is for the four bulbs over the mirror and the other is for the bulb over the toilet. I don't need light to use the toilet but I do need it to brush my teeth, so I always use the mirror lights.

Me: Yes, I have noticed that.

SH: It's because---

Me: I don't care why.

SH: But--

Me: Really. I don't care.

SH: But I use the one in the back instead of the one over the sink unless I need the one over the sink.

Me: Don't care.

SH: But you should do the same!

Me: Don't care. I don't want to hear some big treatise on why I should use one light over the other.

SH: But the ones over the sink are 150 watts and the one in the back is only 14 watts!

Me: I still don't care.


Anonymous said...

Kitchen-lightbulb math is almost as dear to Mr. Artsy's heart as oven math (we have a big oven in our kitchen range, which cooks evenly and reliably, plus a small countertop oven, which is more unpredictable but uses less firepower--which to use, which to use?). As for leaving doors open, Mr. Artsy insists upon all storage-closet and pantry doors remaining cracked open, which drives me crazy.

--Artsy in Boulder

Class factotum said...

Artsy, I laughed out loud when I read this comment and the other one you left last night! We do need to start our Sheldon Support Group.