Friday, February 21, 2014

Marriage 601, Lecture 796: A ribbon for 11th place - do they really give those?

On a Saturday, which is my usual chore day, although I will sometimes clean the tub before I go to work if I wake up early and can't fall back to sleep. I'd rather be sleeping, of course, but if I know I am not going to sleep again, I figure I might as well be productive.

This is one of the key differences between SH and me: he would never rather be productive. Sometimes maybe he is right - sometimes lying in bed doing nothing is better than cleaning the tub. But sometimes, it would be good to get rid of all those boxes in the basement or to do the taxes or to shovel. Sometimes, there is no harm in not waiting until the last minute. There is no shame in completing a project before the deadline.

So. Saturday evening. I, as usual, have done several loads of laundry. Planned the menu for the week and done the grocery shopping. I have also gone to body pump at the gym, which I suppose technically does not count as a chore but as an indulgence, although the older I get, the more I realize that exercising is not so much about achieving bodily perfection (seeing the People magazine cover shot of Christie Brinkley at 60 in her swimsuit did not give me any hope) as it is about maintaining the ability to get up if I fall, so from that perspective, it is a required activity, ie, a chore. I had also gone to the library - not a chore - and to the bakery to get SH his brownie. Not a chore but not for my pleasure. I had also shoveled. But I had not done as much housework as I usually do.

SH came into the bedroom to find me reading.

SH: You're lazy!

Me: I am not.

SH: I've been working all day.

Me: Whatever.

SH: I did so much work that I should be patted on the back repeatedly!

Now we go into the eye rolling, as women all over the world hear or intuit similar feelings from their male partners and think, "I clean the toilet and wash the sheets and cook the food and take out the trash and dust all the time and nobody ever pats me on the back! I do it because it needs to be done!"

Me: What did you do?

SH: I vacuumed and washed dishes and took clothes out of the dryer. [Clothes I had washed. The third load of clothes I had washed. I asked him to put the wet clothes in the dryer while I was gone. I had already washed, dried, and folded two loads.]

Me: You did regular chores.

SH: But I didn't used to have to do them! You used to do everything!

Me: Yes, but then you made me get a job.

SH: Now I have to work and do chores.

Me: Oh that's awful.

He comes closer to me and sees I am writing.

SH: What are you writing? What's that? Hey! I did more than that! I also scooped the cat box and refilled the cat food! It's not like I did just one or two things! I did a whole list of things!

Me: You have a very hard life.

1 comment:

Pam said...

Sometimes I am glad I am single.