I have made this friend at the gym. Let's call her Belinda.
Belinda and I are slow gym friends. That means that for the past 19 months, we have said hello and have gradually approached more intimate conversation, such as, "Does the guy who goes 'Woooo!' during pump annoy the heck out of you?"
Which of course it does. Who is not annoyed by someone who goes "Woooo!" every time he presses a weight up or even between sets, when there is no music playing at all. He is not even a rythmic "Wooo-er!" He is just random and weird. He does not "Wooo!" during spin, but he does grunt at random and drips sweat on the floor and then doesn't even wipe it up.
One day, during spin, I felt some sweat hit my leg, which astonished me, as I never work hard enough to generate sweat. Never. I am lazy. I go to the gym, but it is the going that counts. Right?
But here I was, sweating.
Only no. It was not I sweating. It was "Wooo!"-ing guy. His sweat. Blowing onto me.
I am not a squeamish person. I don't get bothered by whether people wash their hands unless they are actually peeing on them. I do mind things like spit and snot and sweat, though. So maybe I am a squeamish person. In any case, having someone else's sweat on me squeamed me out and I felt nauseated and ick and now I make sure to be nowhere near "Wooo!"-ing guy when I do spin.
So Belinda and I have edged closer to being friends. We are now connected on LinkedIn because I am always trying to network. I have never gotten a job through networking, unless you count working as a cocktail waitress during Christmas break of my sophomore year of college at the bar owned by our neighbor down the street, but I hold hope that someday it will happen and I won't have to go through the painful process of filling out the Taleo online application, which must be the worst system in the world. Hello, Taleo, I did not major in "English Studies!" I majored in English. Adding "studies" to a field usually diminishes the field. Did you guys do no user testing?
Belinda wants a new job. I told her I would help her with her resume. We have talked about the challenges of looking for work when one is a Woman of A Certain Age. We don't know if it's true. We laughed about the article on LinkedIn about how to look for a job when you are of A Certain Age. It contained advice like have a contemporary haircut. Be stylish. Stay in shape. Know how to use technology.
We wondered who the writer was talking to, as I am very accustomed to Women of A Certain Age who are stylish and au courant with technology.
And we have compared notes on husbands. I thought I was the only one married to a man who doesn't like how I do dishes.
Oh, no! Belinda told me. My husband doesn't like how I do laundry, so he does all of the laundry. That's fine with me.
I told her SH doesn't hate how I do laundry enough to take over the task.
She told me her husband doesn't like how she does dishes, so he does them. He doesn't like how she loads the dishwasher, so he does it all.
She shrugged. "Fine with me," she said.
I told her how SH doesn't think I put the dishes away right - that I will put them away wet and I don't stack the silverware properly.
Then she paused. Thought. Spoke. "It must be really hard on our husbands to have to follow around such incompetent wives, doing things right when the wives do it wrong."
I agreed that it must.