Friday, April 18, 2014

Marriage 601, Lecture 231: No white before Memorial Day

SH: I have several clothing rules I hope never to violate.

Me: Um-hmmm. [I am reading my book and am not very interested in hearing clothing philosophy from a man who freaks out if I wear his Rice sweatshirt - "Because it's SPECIAL!*" and - and whose closet consists of almost nothing but blue shirts. Plus I want to read my book. "Big Girl Panties," if you want to know. Total brain candy and fun and a nice break from the book about Americans who have been wrongly convicted of capital crimes.]

SH: I don't ever wear plain white shirts.

Me: Um-hmm. [Because it is very important for me to know this.]

SH: I don't like them. Unless it's a tuxedo shirt. That doesn't count as a plain white shirt.

[No, I don't get it either. A tuxedo shirt is a white shirt - perhaps not as plain as a buttondown, but fits the category of white, which in SH's taxonomy, seems to be the more egregious fashion violation. However, I do not understand his taxonomies at all - so many forbidden foods for so many reasons but not really a logical structure to the scheme. No peanut butter because of the texture, but tendon and tripe are OK?]

Me: Um-hmm.

SH: And no plain-colored ties. They are incredibly popular but I hate them.

Me: OK. Whatever.

* Although he has a certain point about the sweatshirt. My claim is that I, too, went to this college so I have the right to wear the sweatshirt. His point is that most Rice paraphernalia is so unattractive - they cannot seem to get a nice typeface - that a nice-looking sweatshirt is a rarity to be treasured.

No comments: